Woody Paige’s ‘ATH’ Chalkboard Messages
'Around The Horn' is a sports discussion show on ESPN. It's a little different than your garden variety panel discussion show because while they discuss topics somewhat seriously, they don't take themselves seriously at all. To really understand what the show is and how it works, either watch it (on ESPN or on their web site) or check out the entry about it on Wikipedia (which is way too detailed, by the way).
One of the regular guests is Woody Paige of The Denver Post. When he's on from his newsroom, and often times when he travels, he has a chalkboard over his right shoulder that has little messages on it. The messages are sometimes pithy, sometimes insulting to his other panelists, and once in while, entertaining. This WOMBAT will list each chalkboard message that appears on ATH in 2008. I may not update it every day, but I will not go longer than a week between updates.
Note: In the cases that Woody's chalkboard contains non-text, I will include a description, and will attempt to include a picture. One thing I've noticed while performing this WOMBAT is that almost every time you freeze the DVR while Woody is on, his face is frozen in a very entertaining pose. It's like the guy was made for freeze-frame TV.
| Quip | Date | Note |
|---|---|---|
| New year, same Mariotti | Jan 2 2008 | |
| 2008: The year of the drow | Jan 2 2008 | |
| Clean-up on aisle 5 Reali | Jan 3 2008 | |
| None of the above | Jan 3 2008 | |
| Mars is my home planet | Jan 3 2008 | |
| Why be normal? | Jan 4 2008 | |
| It's only kinky the 1st time | Jan 4 2008 | |
| Places to go people to annoy! | Jan 4 2008 | |
| I was big I was easy in the big easy | Jan 9 2008 | |
| You can't sleep off ugly | Jan 9 2008 | |
| Marriage: The leading cause of divorce | Jan 9 2008 | |
| I talk to strangers | Jan 10 2008 | |
| I see Jay's playing stupid & he's winning | Jan 10 2008 | |
| I make stuff up | Jan 10 2008 | |
| I'm my own worst enemy | Jan 11 2008 | |
| Actually, Mariotti is my worst enemy | Jan 11 2008 | |
| Some do, some don't, I might | Jan 11 2008 | |
| There's no life like low life | Jan 14 2008 | |
| Smart is today, dumb is forever | Jan 14 2008 | |
| Cooler than the other side of the pillow | Jan 14 2008 | |
| Permanently on spin cycle | Jan 15 2008 | |
| What's the abbreveation for abbreveation? | Jan 15 2008 | [sic] |
| Rock is dead. Long live paper & scissors | Jan 16 2008 | |
| Always use spel cheker | Jan 16 2008 | Making reference to his misspelling on 2008-01-15 |
| Born to party, forced to work | Jan 16 2008 | |
| That's it, everyone gets a timeout. | Jan 17 2008 | |
| In my world, there is no "I" in abbreveation. | Jan 17 2008 | Making reference to his misspelling on 2008-01-15 |
| Warning! Will throw nearest object. | Jan 18 2008 | |
| I'm here. What's your other 2 wishes? | Jan 18 2008 | |
| Writer by day, superhero by night. | Jan 18 2008 | |
| The more people I meet, the better I like my dog. | Jan 21 2008 | |
| Sick of it ALL! | Jan 21 2008 | |
| Good kid gone bad | Jan 21 2008 | |
| I see your point, by Jay is still wrong. | Jan 22 2008 | |
| Is today really necessary? | Jan 22 2008 | |
| I eat paste | Jan 23 2008 | |
| I'm just like Jackie, only louder & funnier | Jan 23 2008 | |
| Tony doesn't want to read your blog | Jan 23 2008 | |
| Getting dumber just listening to you | Jan 24 2008 | |
| Let's just disagree to agree with Cowlishaw | Jan 24 2008 | |
| Life is too short and so is Tony | Jan 25 2008 | |
| I shout because Tony is hard of understanding | Jan 25 2008 | |
| If the phone doesn't ring, Jay, you'll know it's me | Jan 25 2008 | |
| Hangin with 3 fine clipboards | Jan 29 2008 | In Scottsdale, AZ for the Super Bowl |
| Jay is banned from all Scottsdale bars | Jan 29 2008 | In Scottsdale, AZ for the Super Bowl |
| Cactus if you can | Jan 29 2008 | In Scottsdale, AZ for the Super Bowl |
| Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh d'etat | Jan 31 2008 | In Scottsdale, AZ for the Super Bowl |
| I love the music | Jan 31 2008 | In Scottsdale, AZ for the Super Bowl; music can be heard playing the background. |
| I started with nothing, I still have most of it | Feb 1 2008 | In Scottsdale, AZ for the Super Bowl |
| Hard to make a comeback, Tony, when you've been nowhere! | Feb 1 2008 | In Scottsdale, AZ for the Super Bowl |
| It's been lovely but I have to scream now | Feb 2 2008 | |
| Reboot the government | Feb 2 2008 | |
| It's not who you know, it's whom you know | Feb 3 2008 | |
| Tan and rested. Still don't like Jay. | Feb 11 2008 | Was on vacation for the week prior. |
| It's never too late to have a happy childhood! | Feb 11 2008 | |
| I feel like the only tree in the kennel | Feb 11 2008 | |
| Disgruntled employee of the month | Feb 12 2008 | |
| Don't act stupid just because you know how to | Feb 12 2008 | |
| I'm sick of being arm candy | Feb 13 2008 | |
| I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it | Feb 13 2008 | |
| Less Jay, more me. | Feb 13 2008 | |
| My heard belongs to a gorilla | Feb 14 2008 | |
| Nothing says I heart u like getting muted | Feb 14 2008 | |
| Mr. Wonderful (arrow pointing to his head) | Feb 14 2008 | |
| Breakfast: raw egg, 2 aspirin, fresh mango, cup of cofee | Feb 15 2008 | |
| All I want is a little more than I'll ever get | Feb 15 2008 | |
| I'm the person your parents warned you about! | Feb 15 2008 | |
| Paige '08 | Feb 18 2008 | |
| President of ATH | Feb 18 2008 | |
| All about the Jacksons | Feb 18 2008 | Had $20's tapes to the blackboard |
| Where ever I am, there's a party | Feb 19 2008 | |
| This show works better if Time doesn't talke | Feb 19 2008 | |
| You're only young once, but you're immature forever. | Feb 19 2008 | |
| Do I look like a people person! | Feb 20 2008 | |
| If I wanted a friend I'd buy a dog | Feb 20 2008 | |
| Charisma donor | Feb 20 2008 | Arrow at bottom of blackboard pointing at him |
| It was too dark to see the eclipse | Feb 21 2008 | There was a lunar eclipse the night before |
| I am always right sometimes | Feb 21 2008 | |
| Oscar Madison nominee | Feb 22 2008 | Arrow at bottom of blackboard pointing at him |
| There will be blood today | Feb 22 2008 | |
| No country for old men but ATH is for old me | Feb 22 2008 | |
| Career Goals: writer (checked), ninja (checked) | Feb 25 2008 | |
| Picked last in P.E. | Feb 25 2008 | |
| I'm serious and don't call me Shirley | Feb 25 2008 | |
| The wow factor | Feb 26 2008 | Arrow at bottom pointing at him |
| I don't get mad I get Mariotti | Feb 26 2008 | |
| Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind most | Feb 26 2008 | |
| Life's a garden. Dig it. | Feb 27 2008 | |
| Normal: Just a washing machine setting | Feb 27 2008 | |
| ATH: So easy a caveman could do it | Feb 28 2008 | |
| If it weren't for the gutter my mind would be homeless | Feb 28 2008 | |
| Mariotti never works Feb. 29th | Feb 29 2008 | |
| Leap year = 3 more buffets | Feb 29 2008 | |
| Frogs (heart) leap year | Feb 29 2008 | |
| Every day I add a name to my hate list | Mar 3 2008 | |
| Today's name is Reali | Mar 3 2008 | |
| If you can't run with the big dogs, get back on the porch | Mar 4 2008 | |
| If you're not the lead dog, the view never changes | Mar 4 2008 | |
| There's something about Mariotti | Mar 4 2008 | |
| Without geometry, life is pointless | Mar 5 2008 | |
| Dikembe Mutombo means no worries | Mar 5 2008 | |
| On your mark, get set, go away! | Mar 5 2008 | |
| It's a Favre Favre better thing he did | Mar 6 2008 | Brett Favre retired |
| For my next trick I need Jay & a mute button | Mar 6 2008 | |
| Dog & remote missing reward for remote | Mar 7 2008 | |
| I want |
Mar 7 2008 | |
| People who think they know it all really annoy those who do | Mar 10 2008 | |
| I'm schizophrenic and so I am. | Mar 10 2008 | |
| Stable relationships are for horses | Mar 10 2008 | |
| Some wear Superman PJ's, Superman wears Woody PJ's | Mar 11 2008 | |
| If I look lost & confused return me to ATH | Mar 11 2008 | ATH = Around The Horn |
| I know everything, just not all at once | Mar 11 2008 | |
| I love me some me | Mar 12 2008 | |
| Blame Captain Kangaroo for the way I am | Mar 12 2008 | |
| If at first you don't succeed skydiving is not for you | Mar 13 2008 | |
| Sorry if I look interested, I'M NOT | Mar 13 2008 | |
| Money is the root of all evil. Send me $10 for more information. | Mar 13 2008 | |
| You had me at mute | Mar 14 2008 | |
| All I ask is that you treat me no differently than a king | Mar 14 2008 | |
| Don't try this at home I'm an amateur | Mar 14 2008 | |
| I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs | Mar 24 2008 | |
| Practice safe lunch use a condiment | Mar 24 2008 | |
| Excess is never too much in moderation | Mar 24 2008 | |
| If you are what you eat, I'm fast, cheap, & easy | Mar 25 2008 | |
| What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about? | Mar 25 2008 | |
| Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done. | Mar 25 2008 | |
| I am not infantile, you stinky poopyhead | Mar 26 2008 | |
| Rock is dead. Long live paper & scissors | Mar 26 2008 | |
| I was lost but now I'm found | Mar 27 2008 | The blackboard was missing from the first segment of the show. |
| Change is inevitable except from vending machines | Mar 28 2008 | |
| How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand. | Mar 28 2008 | |
| Everytime I get it together I forget where I put it | Mar 28 2008 | |
| How do I set a laser printer to stun? | Apr 2 2008 | |
| Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. | Apr 2 2008 | |
| Well, this day was a total waste of makeup | Apr 2 2008 | |
| I'm trying to imagine you with a personality Mariotti! | Apr 3 2008 | |
| Whatever kind of look you were going 4, you missed Mariotti! | Apr 3 2008 | |
| There's no final four on ATH. There's only 1. | Apr 4 2008 | |
| If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk | Apr 4 2008 | |
| There's a time & place for everything. It's called Around The Horn. | Apr 4 2008 | |
| !@#!*& | Apr 7 2008 | |
| My mother thinks I'm at the movies | Apr 7 2008 | |
| Support wild life - throw a party | Apr 7 2008 | |
| The trouble with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard | Apr 8 2008 | |
| My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips | Apr 8 2008 | |
| Vegetarian: Armenian word for lousy hunter | Apr 14 2008 | |
| Rap is to music as Etch-A-Sketch is to art | Apr 14 2008 | |
| If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0 | Apr 15 2008 | |
| I have the body of a god. Buddha. | Apr 15 2008 | |
| You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me | Apr 15 2008 | |
| Even the simplist job can be done rong[sic]. | Apr 16 2008 | |
| I'm so adjective I verb nouns. | Apr 16 2008 | |
| (drawing of a happy face sun) | Apr 18 2008 | He was in Florida. [pic] |
| Beware of sharks | Apr 18 2008 | |
| Why are you reading this? | Apr 21 2008 | |
| My karma ran over your dogma | Apr 21 2008 | |
| Ask me. I might. | Apr 21 2008 | |
| I painted the town | Apr 22 2008 | |
| Leave me alone. I'm having a crisis. | Apr 22 2008 | |
| I'm gnarly | Apr 22 2008 | |
| If you can read this you're too close to the TV | Apr 23 2008 | Written in smaller-than-normal letters |
| Instant swimmer. Just add water. | Apr 23 2008 | Arrow pointing to himself. [pic] |
| Clothes required, underwear optional | Apr 23 2008 | |
| A closed mouth gathers no feet | Apr 25 2008 | |
| Whenever I feel blue I start breathing again | Apr 25 2008 | |
| Proofreading are for lazy persons | Apr 25 2008 | |
| If I'm too loud, you're too old! | Apr 28 2008 | |
| Take the L out of lover. We are over. | Apr 28 2008 | |
| You only live once (maybe) | Apr 28 2008 | |
| Hugs are better than drugs | Apr 29 2008 | |
| Sexy senior citizen | Apr 29 2008 | Arrow pointing at him [pic] |
| Horse lovers are stable people | Apr 29 2008 | |
| Tall people have higher standards | Apr 30 2008 | |
| The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful. | Apr 30 2008 | |
| God grant me patience. I want it now. | Apr 30 2008 | |
| I don't believe in superstitions. It's bad luck. | May 1 2008 | |
| Lies are like cockroaches. Where there's 1 there's a bunch. | May 1 2008 | |
| I think my brain has a mind of its own. | May 1 2008 | |
| McDreamy of ATH | May 2 2008 | |
| Serial chiller | May 2 2008 | Arrow pointing at him [pic] |
| Everyone's entitled to my opinion | May 5 2008 | |
| DWN WTH VWLS | May 5 2008 | |
| Dead owls don't give a hoot | May 6 2008 | |
| Bad spellers of the world untie! | May 6 2008 | |
| Double negatives are a complete NO-NO | May 6 2008 | |
| Where facts are few, experts are many | May 7 2008 | |
| I sold my car to buy gas | May 7 2008 | |
| I know I came into this show for something | May 8 2008 | |
| It sure makes the day longer when I get to work on time | May 8 2008 | |
| This blackboard looked better on the Internet | May 9 2008 | |
| Don't look at me in that tone of voice | May 9 2008 | |
| Give me ambiguity or give me something else | May 9 2008 | |
| 2 rules 4 success: 1. Don't tell people everything you know. 2. | May 12 2008 | |
| 1 out of 5 dentists recommend ATH | May 12 2008 | |
| ESPN pays me by the mute | May 13 2008 | |
| Tony: Eat my chalk dust | May 13 2008 | |
| No more blackboards until I win | May 13 2008 | |
| Blank until I win | May 14 2008 | |
| May 14 2008 | It was blank, as promised | |
| BLANK | May 14 2008 | He did not win |
| Indecision is the key to flexiblity | May 15 2008 | |
| Saliva drools, OK | May 15 2008 | |
| My favorite animal is steak | May 16 2008 | |
| You can't just let nature run wild | May 16 2008 | |
| Never eat more than you can lift | May 16 2008 | |
| I love mankind; it's people I can't stand | May 19 2008 | |
| Pick Jay's brain? I'd rather pick my nose | May 19 2008 | |
| Only elephants should wear ivory | May 20 2008 | |
| I may be insane, but I'm not crazy | May 20 2008 | |
| Too cool for TV | May 20 2008 | |
| I'm sorry you have to see me like this | May 21 2008 | |
| Just say no to innuendo | May 21 2008 | |
| Young once, immature forever | May 22 2008 | |
| It wasn't me, it was the gorilla | May 22 2008 | |
| I forget why I'm here | May 22 2008 | |
| I was a Baywatch extra | May 23 2008 | |
| Hurry, I'm late for the early bird special | May 23 2008 | |
| Tony is not a sight for sore eyes | May 27 2008 | |
| You get what you pay for. Ex: Mariotti | May 27 2008 | |
| Sitting duck | May 27 2008 | Arrow pointing at him [pic] |
| Wolf in sheep's clothing | May 28 2008 | Arrow pointing at him [pic] |
| Slippery as an eel | May 28 2008 | Arrow pointing at him [pic] |
| 3 of us are wrong & the other has a blackboard | May 30 2008 | |
| Young at hear, old of body | May 30 2008 | |
| If you can't be a muse, be amusing! | Jun 2 2008 | |
| Do as you're told. Unless I tell you otherwise. | Jun 2 2008 | |
| This is only a test | Jun 2 2008 | |
| Canada: America's hat | Jun 3 2008 | |
| Prague: Czech it out | Jun 3 2008 | |
| Wyoming: There are no escalators | Jun 3 2008 | |
| Old people rock | Jun 4 2008 | |
| Working class hero | Jun 4 2008 | Arrow pointing at him [pic] |
| This is what cool looks like | Jun 4 2008 | |
| Prefectionist [sic] | Jun 9 2008 | Arrow pointing at him [pic] |
| Come to the dark side, we have cookies. | Jun 9 2008 | |
| My clone is awesome. | Jun 9 2008 | |
| I don't think much therefore I might not be | Jun 10 2008 | |
| Avoid cliches like the plague | Jun 10 2008 | |
| Talk only if you can improve on the silence | Jun 10 2008 | |
| Beards: They grow on you | Jun 11 2008 | |
| Wrong hurts. Ask the other 3 panelists | Jun 11 2008 | |
| Mariotti is slang for 2nd place | Jun 11 2008 | |
| Flavor of the week | Jun 17 2008 | Arrow pointing at him [pic] |
| Pobody's Nerfect | Jun 17 2008 | |
| Professional celebrity | Jun 17 2008 | Arrow pointing at him [pic] |
| I'm doing this show in pain | Jun 18 2008 | |
| If I look lost & confused return me to ATH | Jun 18 2008 | ATH = Around The Horn |
| Escalators don't break, they become stairs | Jun 18 2008 | |
| Most likely to secede | Jun 19 2008 | |
| Everybody loves ramen | Jun 19 2008 | |
| Too legit to quit | Jun 19 2008 | |
| No paparazzi please | Jun 30 2008 | |
| When in doubt scream & run in circles | Jun 30 2008 | |
| I tried to walk into Target but I missed | Jun 30 2008 | |
| A pessimist is what an optimist calls a realist | Jul 1 2008 | |
| Think or perish | Jul 1 2008 | |
| Silence is compliance | Jul 1 2008 | |
| Eliminate and eradicate redundancy | Jul 2 2008 | |
| Hot-Diggity Dog | Jul 4 2008 | |
| Eat your heart out Kobayashi | Jul 4 2008 | |
| Ring my liberty bell | Jul 4 2008 | |
| Exclusively dating Madonna | Jul 7 2008 | Arrow pointing at him [pic] |
| Free hugs today! | Jul 7 2008 | |
| Thumb wrestling champion | Jul 8 2008 | Arrow pointing at him [pic] |
| Help me, help you, Tony! | Jul 8 2008 | |
| You are here * | Jul 8 2008 | [pic] |
| I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on eBay | Jul 9 2008 | |
| I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one. | Jul 9 2008 | |
| Tony's jedi mind tricks don't work on me. | Jul 9 2008 | |
| Circularreasoningworksbecause | Jul 10 2008 | Written in a circle [pic] |
| I didn't hear Jay. I was too busy being right. | Jul 10 2008 | |
| Gimpin' aint [sic] easy | Jul 11 2008 | |
| Rockstar in Japan | Jul 11 2008 | Arrow pointing at him [pic] |
| Dance contest winner | Jul 11 2008 | Arrow pointing at him [pic] |
| _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ | Jul 14 2008 | Blanks instead of letters [pic] |
| A _ ou _ _ _ _ e _ o _ _ | Jul 14 2008 | Filled in some vowels [pic] |
| Around t _ e _ orn | Jul 14 2008 | Filled in all but the letter "H" [pic] |
| If it fits in a toaster, I can cook it | Jul 15 2008 | During the introduction, the ATH 'blurb' said, "Running out of blackboard ideas" [pic] |
| I'm off my meds today! | Jul 15 2008 | |
| I'm happy. Don't wreck it by talking. | Jul 15 2008 | |
| I came to chew gum & win ATH. I'm all out of gum. | Jul 17 2008 | |
| Someday we'll look back on this, laugh nervously & change the subject. | Jul 17 2008 | |
| When I die, I want to come back as a mute button. | Jul 18 2008 | |
| Coup de grass: lawnmower | Jul 18 2008 | |
| Aibohphobia: the fear of palindromes | Jul 18 2008 | |
| Old is not for sissies | Jul 28 2008 | |
| Don't always act your age | Jul 28 2008 | |
| La la la I can't hear you | Jul 28 2008 | |
| Can your inner child come out and play? | Jul 29 2008 | |
| I'm your fairy godmother | Jul 29 2008 | |
| Hi. I don't care. Thanks. | Jul 30 2008 | |
| Stupid should hurt | Jul 30 2008 | |
| Smiling is my favorite | Jul 30 2008 | |
| Discover wildlife. Have children. | Jul 31 2008 | |
| I'm currently being distracted | Jul 31 2008 | |
| What happens if you're scared half to death TWICE? | Jul 31 2008 | The first 13 minutes were preempted by Manny Ramirez's trade to the Dodgers, so this chalkboard was in the last or "Showdown" segment, which normally doesn't have a chalkboard (when Woody makes it) |
| Rob Stone is rock solid! | Aug 1 2008 | Rob Stone was filling in for Tony Reali this week |
| If I got smart with Jay, how would he know | Aug 1 2008 | Jay = Jay Mariotti, another guest on the show |
| I'm in a place where I don't know where I am | Aug 4 2008 | |
| My train of thought has been delayed | Aug 4 2008 | |
| No spring chicken | Aug 4 2008 | Arrow pointing at him [pic] |
| Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult | Aug 5 2008 | Arrow pointing at him [pic] |
| I only make sense in closed captioning | Aug 5 2008 | |
| Gone and forgotten | Aug 6 2008 | Pictures of Jay Mariotti on the chalkboard. He wasn't on the show today. [pic] |
| Here and forgotten | Aug 6 2008 | Pictures of Tony Reali on the chalkboard. [pic] |
| Here and adored | Aug 6 2008 | Pictures of him on the chalkboard. [pic] |
| The mute button violates the 1st amendment | Aug 7 2008 | He was getting a haircut during the first segment |
| Eliminating me is against human rights | Aug 7 2008 | He was getting a haircut during the second segment, too. |
| What would MacGyver do? | Aug 8 2008 | |
| I have a reputation to live down to | Aug 8 2008 | |
| I heart hyperbole the most. Ever. | Aug 8 2008 | heart = a little heart |
| Mariotti's on a slow boat to China | Aug 11 2008 | |
| USA Swimmers: Just add water | Aug 11 2008 | |
| What if there were no rhetorical questions? | Aug 11 2008 | |
| A cockroach can live up to 10 days with no head | Aug 12 2008 | |
| The hundred years war lasted 116 years | Aug 12 2008 | |
| Penguins can jump up to 6 feet | Aug 12 2008 | |
| Clothing optional beyond this point | Aug 13 2008 | |
| Bang head here | Aug 13 2008 | Phrase was inside a circle. Woody, looking as fashionable as ever, was wearing swimming goggles and swimmies/water wings [pic] |
| $35 charge for whining | Aug 13 2008 | |
| National sarcasm society | Aug 14 2008 | Arrow pointing at him [pic] |
| Tact is for people who aren't witty | Aug 14 2008 | |
| Pinocchio is Italian for "Pine Eye" | Aug 15 2008 | |
| Mona Lisa has no eyebrows | Aug 15 2008 | |
| A jellyfish is 95% water | Aug 25 2008 | |
| Clinophobia is the fear of beds | Aug 25 2008 | |
| Procupines float in water | Aug 25 2008 | |
| So much to do, so few people to do it for me | Aug 26 2008 | |
| Save the drama for yo' mama | Aug 26 2008 | |
| Don't argue. I've been sauteed in right sauce | Aug 27 2008 | |
| Lifetime member of the time-out club | Aug 27 2008 | |
| Send in the chimp, I'm taking the day off | Aug 27 2008 | |
| I use jedi mind tricks | Aug 28 2008 | |
| Sorry but I'm ridiculously good | Aug 28 2008 | |
| Be reasonable do it my way | Aug 28 2008 | |
| Men who run behind cars get exhausted | Aug 29 2008 | |
| Sorry Angelina, I'm taken | Aug 29 2008 | |
| I forgot more than Mariotti will ever know | Aug 29 2008 | |
| How can you mute a face like this? | Sep 2 2008 | |
| I'm smiling. That alone should scare you. | Sep 2 2008 | |
| Customer service: Putting people on hold since 1959 | Sep 3 2008 | |
| I'll make this sound cooler in my blog | Sep 3 2008 | |
| Don't blame me, I just work here | Sep 3 2008 | |
| I'll never forget this - for a long time | Sep 4 2008 | |
| Men who live in glass houses should change in the basement | Sep 4 2008 | |
| Help! I've fallen & I can't shut up. | Sep 4 2008 | |
| A house without a toilet is uncanny | Sep 5 2008 | |
| Been known to exaggerate | Sep 5 2008 | Arrow pointing at him [pic] |
| Men who sit on tacks get the point | Sep 5 2008 | |
| I nap at work | Sep 10 2008 | |
| Strangely enough, only 26% of pirates wear prescription eye patches | Sep 10 2008 | |
| Everyone says I'm in denial, but I'm not | Sep 10 2008 | |
| A bird in hand is safer than one overhead | Sep 11 2008 | |
| There are 3 ninjas on this blackboard. Try to find them. | Sep 11 2008 | |
| I either get what I want or change my mind | Sep 11 2008 | |
| If you ain't first, you're Mariotti | Sep 12 2008 | Reference to Jay Mariotti, one of his rival panelists on ATH. |
| Jay has had a great show. But this wasn't it. | Sep 12 2008 | Reference to Jay Mariotti, one of his rival panelists on ATH. |
| I'm part genius, part buffoon | Sep 12 2008 | |
| Dream more, work less | Sep 15 2008 | |
| Watching me online is virtually the best | Sep 15 2008 | |
| Any way we can speed this up? | Sep 16 2008 | |
| Talk the talk. Chalk the chalkboard. | Sep 16 2008 | |
| Should there be instant reply for Reali's calls? | Sep 17 2008 | |
| I hope when you see me you smile | Sep 17 2008 | |
| Energizer bunny arrested, charged with battery | Sep 22 2008 | |
| Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died | Sep 22 2008 | |
| I'm too humble to brag | Sep 22 2008 | |
| Did NOT win an Emmy | Sep 23 2008 | Arrow pointing to him [pic] |
| My stock is way ↑ ↑ ↑ ↑ | Sep 23 2008 | Arrows pointing up [pic] |
| Who is going to bailout Mariotti | Sep 23 2008 | Reference to Jay Mariotti, one of his rival panelists on ATH. |
| Yesterday was the deadline on all complaints | Sep 24 2008 | |
| I can tell Jay's wrong. His lips are moving. | Sep 24 2008 | Reference to Jay Mariotti, one of his rival panelists on ATH. |
| A line is a dot that went for a walk | Sep 25 2008 | |
| I am still hot. It just comes in flashes. | Sep 25 2008 | |
| Cancel my subscription. I don't need your issues. | Sep 25 2008 | |
| Before they made Mariotti, they broke the mold | Sep 26 2008 | Reference to Jay Mariotti, one of his rival panelists on ATH. |
| Dangerously undermedicated | Sep 26 2008 | Arrow point to him [pic] |
| Single by choice...not my choice | Sep 26 2008 | |
| Camels have 3 eyelids. Why??? | Sep 29 2008 | |
| Slugs have 4 noses. Why??? | Sep 29 2008 | |
| Mariotti has 1/2 a brain. Why??? | Sep 29 2008 | |
| Sweetness is as sweetness does | Sep 30 2008 | |
| Sorry for my selfconfident self | Sep 30 2008 | |
| Yoga is for posers | Oct 1 2008 | |
| Math uses: 50% equtions [sic]; 50% proofs; 50% formulas | Oct 1 2008 | [pic] |
| Jealousy is a disease. Get well soon Jay. | Oct 2 2008 | |
| Aliens are abducting sexy old people. I just wanted to say goodbye. | Oct 2 2008 | |
| Men who eat crackers in bed wake up feeling crummy. | Oct 2 2008 | |
| Blackboard out sick. Whiteboard rules! | Oct 3 2008 | The whiteboard was used for all three segments he was on. [pic] |
This is great! I have been looking for Woody’s says for my classroom.
this is great! I luvvvv Woody. I have this thing on my Mozilla “Link List”...check it every day, baby!
Ha, too funny. Nice work & list.
I was looking for one he had up yesterday after the “I didn’t lose my mind. I put it on EBay” message and came across this.
This is awesome-I read through every single one of them-still make me laugh! :-D
josh woody is just as much of a nutball as YOU!!! Thanks for putting these up. I get off work at 5 so I hardly see the show, including the repeat at 6. I get the podcast daily of both ATH & PTI but I don’t see the chalkboards. Even in the video podcast of ATH it’s only the first segment so I miss all of the latter boards of the episode. So here’s a huge thanks to you for posting these.
Woody is my hero.
Albert, you can see each segment of ATH at http://sports.espn.go.com/broadband/video/videopage?categoryId=2957349&brand=null
