Billy Mays is getting a reality TV show • Jan 8 2009
“HI, BILLY MAYS HERE FOR BUT WAIT…THERE’S MORE COMING SOON TO THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL! THE SHOW WILL FEATURE ME AND ANTHONY SULLIVAN AS WE, “EVALUATE QUIRKY NEW PRODUCTS, CRAFT PITCHES, AND TAKE TO THE AIRWAVES TO PUSH THE GOODS”!
THE SECRET IS IN THE FACT THAT THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL IS LOOKING FOR ADDITIONAL ORIGINAL PROGRAMMING AND THEY THINK THAT I’M NOT GOING TO BE AS ANNOYING IN A FULL LENGTH SHOW AS I AM IN A 60 SECOND COMMERCIAL!
I stand by my statement that Rachel Ray and Billy Mays are the two most annoying things on TV (besides the entire MTV channel). With that said, I’ll probably watch it once to see what it’s about and to see how ridiculous the products are that they pass on.
Porn industry seeks bailout from U.S. Goverment • Jan 7 2009
Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “stimulus package”.
Mars rovers roll into fifth year • Jan 3 2009
Spirit landed five years ago, with Opportunity just 21 days later. They were expected to last 90 days.
20 weird logos that work • Jan 2 2009
I love the logos for Schizophrenic, Curious, and Upside Down.
A chunk of aluminum falls slowly • Jan 1 2009
Techs put a chunk of aluminum in an MRI machine and tip it over. It falls really slowly due to Lenz’s law.
The “Nutjob” Part
One of the stocking stuffers that my father gave my mother for the holidays this year was some Mint Chocolate M&M’s. During lunch, they came up in discussion, so I took out my iPhone and pulled up my review of Mint Crip M&M’s from May. Since my parents really don’t know how to use the iPhone, I had to zoom in on it so they could read it.
This zooming hid the fact that it was my review that I showed them.
During the discussion, the question of “who reviews M&M’s?“ was asked, and was quickly answered by my father as, “some nutjob with too much time on his hands.“ After pointing out that the “nutjob” in question was me, my father quickly backtracked as best he could, but the damage was done.
My shrink loves my parents, by the way.
The Milk Chocolate M&M’s Review Part
Mint Chocolate M&M’s are quite delicious. They are chocolaty and minty, and that’s what you want in a mint chocolate candy. As you can see by the photo, there is a large white chocolate center that is infused with mint flavor surrounded by a decent amount of dark chocolate, which gives the candy a more minty flavoring whereas I prefer a nice balance of the two. On the taste factor alone, I would be apt to give it a 7.5/10, but I’m reviewing an M&M here, not your standard run-of-the-mill after dinner mint.
Mint Chocolate M&M’s are part of their Premiums line. The outer coating of a Mint Chocolate M&M is a mottled, dark green coating and, unlike normal M&M’s, is made out of wax. There’s no hard candy shell that has made sure that M&M’s “melt in your mouth, not in your hand” for decades. These will melt anywhere, especially your hand, and probably at the most inopportune time.
The hard candy shell is what sets M&M’s apart from other bite size chocolate candies. It’s the hard candy shell that has made M&M’s one of the most widely recognized candies in the world. Just because you create a bite sized chocolate candy and stamp an “M” on it (in some cases a “W”, a “3”, or an “E”) does not mean that you’ve made an M&M. These are nothing more than every other mint chocolate candies in a slightly fancy package.
Rating: 4/10
Ever since posting about Wrebbit’s “Puzz-3D NYC”, I’ve been asked where people can find them since they’re no longer available at retail. I’ve found the best place to be eBay or Amazon.com, where used ones sometimes appear. Unfortunately, a lot of the used ones do not include the manual.
While the manual is not absolutely necessary to complete the puzzle, it definitely helps, and when the puzzle has over 3,000 pieces, every little bit helps. I’ve scoured Hasbro’s web site (Wrebbit is now owned by Hasbro) and have been unable to find the Puzz-3D NYC manual on their site, including their Toy & Game Instructions list where other Puzz-3D manuals do appear.
For the betterment of mankind, I’ve scanned my manual and make it available in PDF format. It’s quite large at 75MB because it was scanned in at 200 dpi so it could be zoomed in to or printed out if necessary.
2008 will have an extra second added to it • Dec 28 2008
Due to the rotation of the Earth, a “leap second” has to be added to 2008 to keep clocks accurate.
They had to add an extra second to 2008? It wasn’t bad enough, so we made it longer?
‘Earthrise’ is 40 years old today • Dec 24 2008
The famous photo of the Earth as seen from lunar orbit was taken 40 years ago today.
Periodic Table of Awesoments • Dec 23 2008
Not surprisingly, Bacon is #1. Overall it’s fairly accurate, but a few mistakes stand out. Boobs at #13? Really? Cheese beats it by 5? And sniper is way too high at #5. Jedi and sniper should swap. Ribs and beef jerky need to swap also. And mullets shouldn’t be on it at all!
Headbanging might be bad for you • Dec 21 2008
Researchers find that headbanging may cause mild head injury (duh). They suggest banging your head to every other beat or listening to different music.
Las Vegas got 3.5 inches of snow • Dec 19 2008
Heaviest snowfall in 30 years for the area.
Hangover helpers from around the world • Dec 18 2008
National Geographic lists ten cures for the common hangover. None of them are especially appetizing (except maybe the Netherlands), and a few are just downright nasty.
Josh’s hangover cure…two McDonald’s hamburgers. The hard part is finding someone to go get them for you.
Scientists may have found out why we yawn • Dec 16 2008
It may have something to do with maintaining our brain’s temperature.
I’m going to suggest more testing, especially right after drinking a Slurpee really quickly.
An outlier, according to the dictionary, is “a statistical observation that is markedly different in value from the others of the sample”, in other words, a statistical anomaly. In his newest book, Outliers: The Story of Success, Malcolm Gladwell attempts to examine why a few people succeed beyond the norm, and what made them outliers.
Along the way, he examines youth hockey players in Canada and how when they were born is more important than any inherit skill they may have; Bill Gates and The Beatles and how practice allows you to be ready for that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity; Jewish lawyers and how cultural prejudices may prepare you for an opportunity later in life; and several others. The book attempts to debunk the myth that a successful person can be “self-made”, and shows that luck, cultural heritage, and the opportunities of your predecessors may have more to do with being present at the right moment in time, with the right set of skills, to take advantage of an opportunity.
I have always enjoyed Gladwell’s writings, in both The New Yorker and his other books. I enjoyed this one as well. However, compared to his first two books, this one doesn’t hit the same chord. It is interesting to look a little deeper at some outliers and how they may have gotten where they did, but it isn’t fascinating; and that’s the difference between The Tipping Point
/Blink
, and Outliers.
Rating: 7.5/10
You can drive the Wienermobile! • Dec 13 2008
Oscar Meyer is taking applications to drive the giant hot dog on wheels. I think it’d be fun, but I’d probably get tired of eating hot dogs about three days in.
Bacon and cheese roll • Dec 11 2008
I think my theory that “everything’s better with bacon” was proven wrong.
I may have had a minor coronary just looking at the pictures.
McDonald’s attacks Starbucks in it’s home • Dec 11 2008
McDonald’s erected four billboards attacking Starbucks coffee right down the road from Starbucks’ headquarters. Excellent, but they really should be targeting Starbucks drinkers all over the place.
I don’t know about you, but the cashiers in the McDonald’s near me can’t do anything unless there’s a little button for it on their register. And I highly doubt any of them would know what a “half caf latte with soy milk” is. And I wouldn’t exactly want to hang out in McDonald’s any longer than I have to…I detract from the homeless decor they have. Other than those things, I think McDonald’s will give Starbucks a run for their money.
Guy sues Classmates.com because no one was looking for him • Dec 11 2008
Guy gets an e-mail from Classmates.com that others are looking for him. He signs up for the paid service and finds out that no one was looking for him. Sues.
This is a true story, not something The Onion made up.
NBC to give Leno 10pm hour every weeknight • Dec 8 2008
Wow. NBC has basically given up on prime time. That’s five less hours that they have to program, which means five less shows that need to be around. It makes some sense since NBC is doing so poorly in the ratings and competition from cable is getting worse every day (or should I say better?). Sometimes a little revolution is a good thing.
I’m not sure how well this idea’s going to do. For the most part, people watch Leno and Letterman as they’re going to bed because they just happen to be on. I can’t think of anyone I know who actually plans to watch either show because they really like them. I’m not sure that people are going to follow Leno around and sit down and watch him at 10pm versus some of the other shows that are on, like C.S.I. Besides, if I watched them, it’d be tough to watch Leno for an hour, then the news, then O’Brien. I tend to think that O’Brien is pretty pissed at this news.
Back in May came word that Kellogg’s was bringing back Hydrox cookies for a limited time. As soon as I heard, I knew an Oreo vs. Hydrox showdown would have to be waged. Today, it was.
Similar to the Oreo vs. Chips Ahoy! showdown, at 2:30pm 16 cookies of each variety were placed on plates in a central location in our department, and an email was sent out announcing that cookies were available. Because Oreos and Hydrox look so similar, the e-mail stated that both were available.
My thought going into this showdown was that Hydrox would win based on the novelty factor, or at least there would be a tie as people took one of each to compare.
Continue reading . . .
Bloody Mary turns 75 • Dec 1 2008
The drink was supposedly born in NYC 75 years ago today. Like the Caesar salad, it’s origins are disputed. Like the Caesar salad, I don’t care where it came from, I’m just glad it’s around.
Man killed after being trampled by Black Friday shoppers • Nov 28 2008
A woman may have miscarried in the melee as well. Glad to see the holiday spirit is alive and well.
Other shoppers said people kept entering the store as emergency crews attended the woman and store clerk.
This is precisely why I spend Black Friday as far away from retail stores as possible.
Citi Field naming rights causing issues • Nov 26 2008
Citibank paid $400 million to name the Mets new stadium “Citi Field”. Now that Citibank has needed government assistance to stay afloat, two city councilmen want it renamed “Citi/Taxpayer Field”.
I vote for “Bailout Field”.
Review of vegetarian bacon • Nov 23 2008
Why?
I mean, holy crap, look at that ingredient list. Some mad scientists in New Jersey have figured out how to synthesize a facsimile of the smell and flavor of bacon using “natural” and “artificial” flavors. It brings to mind the line by Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park: “Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.“
TiVo adds Domino’s pizza to its menu • Nov 17 2008
You can now order a pizza by using your TiVo remote without moving from your couch. Whoever came up with this is in the wrong field. Imagine what they could do if they were fighting cancer.
Hormel can’t make Spam fast enough • Nov 16 2008
Due to the economic downturn, Spam is flying off the shelves.
I think the most disturbing sentence of the article was when a former Spam recipe contest judge recalled:
“The best thing was Spam brownies,” he said, with more or less a straight face.
“Bloody” as in the British expletive, not the condition of the pipe that Professor Plum used to kill Mr. Boddy in the study.
HIAG: Josh, why are you upset?
JOSH: Because they fixed that bloody pipe!
HIAG: What pipe? Who? What are you talking about?
JOSH: You know the pipe that carries the rainwater from the roof to the drain in the courtyard of my building?
HIAG: You mean the one that’s been broken ever since you moved in there? The one that ends about five feet off the ground, and you can hear all the water coming out of it and hitting the ground?
JOSH: Yeah, that one.
HIAG: Well…why are you upset that they fixed it?
JOSH: Because now I can’t tell if it’s raining or not?
HIAG: Huh?
JOSH: I used to be able to tell it was raining by hearing the water come out of the pipe and hitting the ground. They’ve taken that away from me.
HIAG: Uh…can you look out of the window?
JOSH: But I liked not having to look out the window. Besides, if it’s dark out, or if it’s not raining hard enough, you can’t really tell by looking out the window.
HIAG: Uh…you could use the TV or the radio.
JOSH: Nah. What if they’re not on? Besides, they only tell you every 10 minutes, and with my luck, I’d turn them on right after they did a weather report and have to wait nine more minutes. Besides, I need to know at that moment because I’m usually about the leave the house. It was so great to go to the door and hear the water coming down…it was like an umbrella alarm.
HIAG: How about one of those weather stations?
JOSH: —
HIAG: What about looking it up on the Internet?
JOSH: Did you wake up and have a big bowl of stupid for breakfast?! I just told you that the whole reason I liked it was because it was something that passively told me it was raining. Those things you mentioned require effort. I want to be able to tell if it’s raining while I’m lying in bed. I’m trying to be as lazy as possible.
HIAG: Hmm. Can you tell the building to unfix it?
JOSH: Probably not. I complain when things don’t get fixed…now you want me to complain when they actually fix something?
HIAG: Good point. So, how did they fix it?
JOSH: They put in an s-curve piece of pipe to connect the pipe from the roof to the actual drain pipe. Here, I’ll draw you a picture.
Josh grabs a pen and paper and quickly draws an incredibly awesome representation of the before and after experience of the “umbrella alarm” (despite the sneeze that occurred while trying to draw the “R” in the AFTER label).
HIAG: How about you sneak in there and break it? You could do it late at night and dress up like a ninja.
JOSH: I’m six-foot-six, two hundred twenty pounds. I don’t “sneak” anywhere.
HIAG: What about that time you were with that girl and her father came home?
JOSH: I said I don’t “sneak” anywhere. Hiding under a bed doesn’t qualify as “sneaking”.
HIAG: How long did you hide under the bed?
JOSH: WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THE BLOODY PIPE?!
HIAG: Nothing. I just like hearing that story.
I know it’s not Shakespeare, but it can still be classified as a tragedy.
You can now build your own Muppet at FAO Schwarz • Nov 11 2008
Why do all the cool toys come out when I’m 35? Tom Robbins wrote, “You’re never too old to have a happy childhood.“ You might be right, Tom.
R2-D2 aquarium • Nov 10 2008
This is now on every holiday/birthday list I have. In fact, my beer and pizza fund may have to be renamed.
MTV plays music videos again • Oct 31 2008
I’m old enough to remember, “I want my MTV!“ Now MTV streams music videos on demand over the Internet. Good to be able to call up some classics
Otto the octopus wrecks havoc • Oct 31 2008
Octopuses (octopi?) are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. He’d have a field day in my tank.
P.S. I would love to juggle some of my workmates.
The other day I ran into one of my favorite shows on TV, the Discovery Channel’s “How It’s Made”. This particular episode was of special interest to me because they showed how fortune cookies are made, and I’m somewhat fond of them. The production of fortune cookies was about what I expected it would be: ingredients mixed; cookies baked; fortunes inserted and cookies folded; cookies wrapped, boxed and shipped.
During the segment, they gave out two interesting statistics that I was hoping they would. This particular fortune cookie factory produces 4 million cookies per day, and uses 5,000 different fortunes, which means that each fortune printed is going to be duplicated 800 times per day. Afterward, the number 4 million got stuck in my head, and danced around in there as I tried to sleep. I’m not sure why, but it just seems like a very large number to me.
Continue reading . . .
