The depth of the problem

The Washington Post has an interesting infographic illustrating how deep the missing Malaysian airliner might be.

That is a LONG way down.

If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side.

— Stuart Turner

Bacon used to try and burn down a house

Camero Adawn Crispi (yes, her name is “Crispi”) tried to burn down her ex-boyfriend’s house using bacon.

“I observed the burner to be on the setting ‘High’ and the bacon to be severely burned and smoking badly,” the arresting officer wrote in the report.

Can’t make this stuff up. Oh, it’s not an April Fools’ Day joke.

The best margarita

GQ gives us the recipe for the best margarita.

It was invented nearly 20 years ago by Julio Bermejo, co-owner of Tommy’s Mexican Restaurant in San Francisco. He thought that triple sec, the sweet stuff that’s used in the traditional margarita, was just too overpowering, drowning out the freshness and complexity of tequila. So he used the more natural and subtle agave syrup as a sweetening agent instead.

In the name of science, I have tested this recipe extensively, and it’s amazing. Straight up, no salt.

Glenn McDuffie dies at 86

Glenn McDuffie, who claimed to be the soldier in Eisenstaedt’s iconic Times Square V-J Day photograph, has died. He was 86.

Yet for McDuffie, Gibson’s word was enough. A well-respected forensic artist who was in the 2005 Guinness Book of World Records for helping police identify more suspects than any other forensic artist, Gibson said McDuffie was ecstatic when she told him the results he had waited 62 years to hear.

And so began a whirlwind lifestyle of going to air shows, gun shows, fundraisers and parties to tell his story. Women would pay $10 to take a picture kissing him on the cheek, Gibson said.

“He would make money and kiss women,” Gibson said. “He had the most glamorous life of any 80 year old.”

The three principles, as well as the magazine that published the photo, have passed away.

Humans can smell better than we thought

A new study has found that humans may be able to distinguish up to 1 trillion different odors.

To find out how many odors we can distinguish, researchers asked 26 participants to put their noses to the test. During each experiment, study participants were asked to smell the contents of three vials that the scientists had mixed themselves using 128 different odor molecules. Two of the vials contained the same mixture, while one did not. The participants’ task was to identify the odd mixture. Then, using the statistics obtained during the tests, the researchers were able to determine that people can distinguish two odors when their components differ by more than half.

Based on the smells of the homeless in the NYC subway, I’m guessing we can perceive much more than 1 trillion.

Scooby Doo speech impediment named

Kyle Hill at Discover magazine delves into Scooby Doo’s speech impediment.

I asked Dr. Long whether or not Scooby portrayed a disorder already described in the medical literature. Apparently, the affliction is the exclusive problem of talking dogs. “Scooby’s error pattern doesn’t have a specific name, at least not one that we commonly use in clinical practice,” he told me. Children don’t seem to experience anything like this and adults with speech difficulties don’t develop it, even after something like a stroke. This is because Scooby’s rhotic replacement goes deeper than something like a lisp.

I always thought he talked funny because he was a dog.

The Best ‘Seinfeld’ Episode Tournament

Fox Sports has given us a bracket of the best Seinfeld episodes.

Since brackets are all the rage these days, the Buzzer is getting in on the action to determine the greatest “Seinfeld” episode of all time.

It wasn’t easy, but we’ve come up with a Field of 32. The Contest, The Soup Nazi, The Marine Biologist and The Boyfriend landed No. 1 seeds.

My final four is The Soup Nazi, The Marine Biologist, The Contest, and The Chinese Restaurant.

More Canadian porn is needed

Canadian broadcast regulations state that at least 35% of all programming must be written, produced, presented, or otherwise contributed to by persons from Canada (thanks Wikipedia), which is why the Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission (CRTC) is going after three porn channels for not having enough Canadian originated content.

To what extent the channels violate the rules is not stated in the hearing notice. Their schedules include what appear to be Canadian shows, “Men of Toronto” and “Canadian Quickies” among them. The nationality of some other programs, including “Sword Master” and “Filthy Pervs,” is less clear.


“It’s true that, without CanCon, ‘Debbie’ in ‘Debbie Does Deep River’ might never have been given her shot at stardom,” The Globe and Mail, a Toronto newspaper, said in an editorial. “But is this really something a government regulator should be fighting for? When did porn become a strategic industry?”

The editorial added, “And rumor has it that there’s an entire world of porn to be had on the Internet, free from C.R.T.C. oversight.”

I wonder if someone from the CRTC had to sit through some period of time of the programming while making notes?

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

— George Burns