NBA “home” teams

Elite Daily asks what would NBA teams look like if every star played for his home team?

But reactionary fans and embarrassing letters aside, James’ return to Cleveland really does make the mind wonder. What if every team was full of hometown stars?

Imagine no more. Here’s what the NBA would look like if stars played for their local clubs:

Looks to me like the Washington Wizards would be the team to beat.

Messi is doing impossible things

Benjamin Morris at FiveThirtyEight crunched some numbers about Lionel Messi, and came to an odd conclusion:

And that’s just the stuff that made it into this article. I arrived at a conclusion that I wasn’t really expecting or prepared for: Lionel Messi is impossible.

It’s not possible to shoot more efficiently from outside the penalty area than many players shoot inside it. It’s not possible to lead the world in weak-kick goals and long-range goals. It’s not possible to score on unassisted plays as well as the best players in the world score on assisted ones. It’s not possible to lead the world’s forwards both in taking on defenders and in dishing the ball to others. And it’s certainly not possible to do most of these things by insanely wide margins.

But Messi does all of this and more.

Some of the graphs are amazing when you see just how far away he is from Ronaldo.

LEGO bus stop

To celebrate London’s “Year of the Bus”, Transport for London commissioned a bus stop made entirely out of LEGO.

Outside Hamley’s toy shop, the stop is constructed from 100,000 Lego bricks


it serves nine routes and is the alighting point for the famous toy shop and nearby Conduit Street.

That is amazing.

Shark vs. Soccer player

There’s some big soccer tournament going on and one of the players bit another one in the middle of the game. Apparently, this is not the first time he’s done that, which lead Ian Steadman to crunch some numbers and realize that you are more likely to be bitten by Luis Suarez than by a shark.

We can therefore conclude that Luis Suarez has roughly a one in 2,000 chance of biting any individual opposition player. For comparison, the following things are less likely than being bitten by Luis Suarez:

Many people pointed out that the numbers he was using were not exactly fair, so he recalculated using waters where sharks are more likely to be, leading him to this conclusion:

This means that Luis Suarez is almost exactly as likely to bite someone as a shark is in the very definition of “shark-infested” waters.

I just found out that “USMNT” stands for “U.S. Men’s National Team” and not “U.S. Mutant Ninja Turtles”.

Sausage pizza seems to be on the outs

The NY Post explains that sausage pizza isn’t very popular anymore.

“It’s fallen off over the past 10, 15 years,” says Pozzuoli. “Thirty years ago, I would order 30 to 40 pounds of sausage a week. Now, I order very little. Two or three pounds.”

When asked why he thinks the topping fell out of favor, even as its cousin, the pepperoni slice, remains popular, this old-school pizzaiolo can only shrug and guess.

“I wish I knew,” he says. “Sausage is more fat. Many people don’t eat fat [anymore].”

Arugula? That doesn’t even sound appetizing.

Weirdos in the subway

A team of anthropologists from Colombia University has identified 43 new species of weirdos in the NYC subway.

DePalio suggested that the reason some weirdo species had not been identified in the past was because they emerge only briefly to forage for food, money, or anonymous sex. For instance, the intoxicated transvestite, with its vibrant leopard-print coat and pink feather plumage, is said to only be observable for a short period after the clubs in Chelsea have closed, while the Thai grandmother in a sun visor selling pirated DVDs is visible for just seconds at a time.

The reason why The Onion is so good is because it is a smidgen away from the truth.

Universal Typeface Experiment

BIC, the pen company, has come up with an interesting way to create a typeface:

On this microsite people enter their handwriting and a specially developed algorithm calculates the average and merges them into one ever-changing, always evolving font.

This is a pretty cool idea, however, I don’t see a way to download and use the typeface. I hope they allow it at some point in the future.

Remembering Don Zimmer

Tom Verducci in Sports Illustrated, reminds us of the incredible baseball life that Don Zimmer led:

Zimmer met Babe Ruth (in 1947), was a teammate of Jackie Robinson (1954-56) and played for Casey Stengel (1962). He was in uniform for some of the most iconic teams in history: the team that lost the most games (’62 Mets) and the team, including postseason play, that won the most games (’98 Yankees). He was in uniform for the only World Series championship for the Brooklyn Dodgers (1955), one of the most famous World Series home runs (Carlton Fisk’s shot in 1975), one of the most famous regular season home runs (Bucky Dent in 1978), the Pine Tar Game (1983), the first night game at Wrigley Field (1988), the first game in Rockies history (1993), and all three perfect games thrown at Yankee Stadium (Don Larsen, David Wells and David Cone).

He’s like the Forrest Gump of baseball.

50 Cent’s first pitch was the worst ever

The Washington Post gives us an infographic that shows that 50 Cent’s first pitch at the May 25th Mets game may have been the worst first pitch ever.

Among other entertainers, Justin Bieber and Kim Kardashian both embarrassed themselves far less than 50 Cent. Snoop Dogg pretty much nailed it in 2012. Tara the Hero Cat delivered the ball right over home plate, although she had assistance from her owner.

Fictional and extinct figures (mascots, mostly) also made it closer to the strike zone than 50 Cent. A lack of functional arms didn’t stop T-Rex from outperforming the rapper.

Did he not practice before hand? At the very least, he should have asked for a do-over.

O.J. caught stealing, again

O.J. Simpson was caught stealing cookies from his prison cafeteria.

Fox News reported that guards caught the 66-year-old with a stash of cookies — oatmeal — beneath his shirt, as he walked from the cafeteria to his cell.

“O.J. just stood there with a goofy grin on his face as the guard kept digging inside his shirt and throwing the cookies on the floor,” the source said, first to the National Enquirer.

This is NOT an Onion story. However, it is sourced from the National Enquirer and Fox News…so, you know.

Also, can someone check on Cookie Monster? Is he OK? I hope he’s sticking to milk cause OJ will kill ya.