According to Newsday’s Neil Best (who has been following this for some time), the Tiger Woods story has graced the cover of the New York Post for 20 consecutive days.  That’s one more than the old record held by 9/11.

To commemorate this historic event, I’ve compiled the 20 consecutive covers below.  Enjoy.

Do people really watch movies on this channel?  IMDB lists the movie at 112 minutes long, yet they take 4 hours to show it.

Once again, I’ll do the math:

• Movie length = 112 minutes
• Total length of showing = 240 minutes
• Total commercial time = 128 minutes (total length - movie length)
• Amount of commercial time for each minute of movie time = 1.1 minutes (total commercial time / movie length)

That means that if they display 10 minutes of movie, you have to sit through 11 minutes of commercials.

How do they get away with this?

P.S. At least I’m consistent.  The photo from the last time something like this happened showed that I was tuned to SNY at 9:37 p.m.  Clearly, I’m fond of watching SNY at night and cruising the guide for something else to watch.

When a 1 hour 36 minute movie takes 4 hours to show.

And before you start thinking too much, I already did the math for you:

• Movie length = 96 minutes
• Total length of showing = 240 minutes
• Total commercial time = 144 minutes (Total length - Movie length)
• Amount of commercial time for each minute of movie time = 1.5 minutes (total commercial time / movie length)

That means that if they display 10 minutes of movie, you have to sit through 15 minutes of commercials.

And you just know the commercials on the Hallmark Movie Channel will make you want to scratch your eyes out.

Update (May 22, 2009) — They’ve done it again!

I was watching TV when a commercial for Verizon FiOS in NYC came on.  I noticed that the Verizon installer was using an electronic gadget to keep track of his installation appointments.  The gadget looked surprisingly like an Amazon Kindle.  That’s when I realized that they must be testing an updated version.

Based on the commercial, we can see the following:

• Same basic size and shape.
• It will have a touch screen with cute little beeps when you touch it.
• It will have either a backlit screen or a much brighter screen.
• It will support custom applications like the Verizon FiOS installation application.

I assume it will be released in time for Christmas.

I’ve included the commercial and some large screen caps below.

Continue reading . . . 

According to CNN, there were two important breaking news stories today. The first was the emergency interest rate cute by the Federal Reserve, and the second was Heath Ledger’s death.  I won’t get into why the second one is not important, but I just wanted to point out that CNN did not have a story on it so I went to one of my local TV station’s sites to see if there was an article on it.  There was, and I was sort of interested in one particular sentence.

Now I understand that this was a fresh story that was breaking at the moment, but that doesn’t let the writers off the hook for getting some basic facts correct before they publish something.  Take the following sentence:

He was pronounced dead at 3:26 p.m. in his downtown Manhattan residence by his housekeeper [...]

His housekeeper pronounced him dead?  I’m fairly certain that in NY State only a doctor or someone with official medical training can pronounce someone dead.  Perhaps he was “found dead” by his housekeeper?

But that’s not the sentence that bothered me.  It was the one right before that:

The Australian-born actor was just 28.

Why was his age reported as “just 28”?  Is there a hard-and-fast rule that people under a certain age are reported as being “just” x years old, and if so, what is that age?  When does someone’s age stop being a “just” and start being just an age?  If he were 34 would he still have been “just 34” or would he be “34”?  What’s the cutoff for getting the “just” in the sentence?  Does it depend on the age of the author, and anyone younger than he/she is “just” x years old? Does it have to do with the circumstances of the death…for example, if a 68 year old woman was killed by a hit-and-run, would she be “just 68”? Or is it nothing more than just the whim of the writer, and on a different day he would have been “28” instead of “just 28”?

Update: I wrote to one of the authors of the story and asked why the “just”.  Never got a response.

Note: The original article has been edited and corrected.  A screen shot of the original article can be found here.

‘How It’s Made’, on the Science Channel, is one of the best shows on TV.  If you haven’t heard of it or seen it, it’s title pretty much describes it.  In a typical show, they show three segments profiling how “things” are made.  The “things” range from sandpaper, to chocolate, to kitchen sinks, to curling stones, and they take you into the factory and show you the most interesting steps in the process.  I’m almost always fascinated at how automated processes are, but yet they still require a lot of manual intervention.  I’ve never been disappointed with a ‘How It’s Made’ show…until now.

They say there are two things you never want to see made, sausage and legislation.  Guess what ‘How It’s Made’ showed in episode 16?  Yup, hot dogs, and they showed it all.  It’s true that no matter how hard you try, you will never be able to “unsee” something that you’ve seen, and this is one of those times I wish you could.  Yuck.  Pig parts…chicken parts…all mushed together…blech!

I’m just glad I don’t get Science Channel HD!

I was watching TV and saw a Wendy’s commercial touting how their burgers are made with fresh beef.  I like looking at the fine print in ads, so I noticed the following screen:

In case you can’t read it, at the bottom it says, “Fresh beef available in contiguous US and CN.”

So what exactly are the burgers made of in Hawaii and Alaska?

I’m several days behind watching Ken Burns’ “The War”, but I just started watching episode five, “FUBAR”, in which the explanations for the acronyms SNAFU and FUBAR were clearly bleeped.

To be honest, I’m surprised that WNET went with the bleeped version, but with the inconsistencies from the FCC over the use of certain words, I can’t blame them for being scared and cautious.

I’m far from the best writer out there, and my excuse for not learning a second language is that I’m still trying to learn my first.  However, when I see an article on a major news outlet (ABC News) written by someone who is supposed to be at the upper echelon of news reporters (Barbara Walters), I expect them to understand the different between “proscribe” and “prescribe”.

In her article describing a jail house interview with Paris Hilton, Ms. Walters writes:

She wears the proscribed prison garb: an orange or brown jumpsuit.

If that sentence is correct, then Ms. Hilton is getting preferential treatment since she is wearing garb specifically forbidden by the prison, which is in contradiction to Ms. Walters implication in the rest of the article that Ms. Hilton is not receiving any preferential treatment.

In our version of the English language, “proscribe” is a verb which basically means, “to denounce or condemn.”, while “prescribe” is a verb which means, “to set down as a rule or guide; to order the use of.”  In this case, Ms. Walters got confused.

Many businesses have dress guidelines.  In many cases, they specify that you must wear appropriate attire, and proscribe, for example, that you can’t wear shorts, t-shirts, jeans, and sneakers.  However, there are many jobs out there where you must wear a provided uniform.  In that case, they prescribe that you must wear a UPS approved uniform, for example.  Which verb you use depends on which subset is smaller and easier to define.

Prisons almost always have a prescribed dress code for inmates, usually something along the line of a bright orange jumpsuit, to make it easier for law enforcement officials to spot if someone makes a break for it.  I’m guessing that the language police will put out an A.P.B. on Ms. Walters shortly.

Update: The error has been fixed in an updated version of the article.

On this date in 1977, Star Wars opened in theaters.  I never got to see it in the theater until the Special Edition came out.

I have a very vivid memory of the first time I saw Star Wars, that I assume most men have.  I don’t remember exactly how old I was, but I was pretty young.  I was with my parents and we were visiting my father’s colleague’s country house.  They had a new fangled contraption called a VCR which allowed you to watch a movie on a VHS tape, and my father told me to give Star Wars a chance.  He sat me down in front of the TV and I never realized that he left the room.

I was totally lost by the story (I was pretty young), but I loved the Stormtroopers and Darth Vader.  To this day, I can still recall the room, TV, and bed I was in at the time, and see the opening of the movie when the Stormtroopers break down the door of the Tantive IV.

Whenever I interview prospective employees these days, I always ask the question, “Star Wars or Star Trek?”

Here’s a photo from a convention (I’ve never been to one), and I’m almost ashamed to say that I find it totally hot:

Continue reading . . . 

I’ve had HDTV for about a year now and can say that it is one of the most amazing products technology has brought us, but also one of the most frustrating.

It’s true that an HD picture is great, and at times, breathtaking, but this is also the most frustrating part.  In a nutshell…once you see a true HD program, you never want to watch anything in standard definition again.  Ever.

Discovery HD Theater (DHDT) is a great example of what is great about HDTV and what is frustrating about it.  Basically it has it’s own programming and is not just an HD broadcast of what’s on standard definition Discovery Channel, unlike most HD channels.  I love the Discovery Channel and many programs on it, and would love to see some of them in HD, but for some reason, not a lot of their shows are shot in HD, or if they are, aren’t shown on DHDT. 

Planet Earth is a special series that is broadcast on both Discovery and DHDT and it’s fantastic.  In the most recent episode they showed a great series of shots of angel falls, and they were absolutely breathtaking in HD.

Discovery Channel shows “Dirty Jobs” and “Deadliest Catch” should be broadcast in HD if they can be.  “American Chopper” is broadcast in HD…does it need to be?  The main difference between the shows is that “American Chopper” is mostly shot in a controlled environment whereas the other two are shot in various and, in the case of “Deadliest Catch”, harsh environments and it might not be possible to shoot in HD all the time.

From tonight’s episode of “The Simpsons”:

This episode is dedicated to all who died in the “Star Wars” films
Darth Vader
Darth Maul
Greedo
Uncle Owen
Storm Trooper #5
Jango Fett
General Grievous (Droid)
Storm Trooper #22
Dak
Obi Wan (Ben) Kenobi
Whoever Jimmy Smits Played
Hutt, Jabba The
Sy Snoodles
Unfortunately, Not Jar-Jar Binks
Everyone on both Death Stars when they blew up

I was especially saddened by Storm Trooper #22’s death.

Joe Cocker covered U2’s “One” on his recent album Heart & Soul.  It’s very Joe Cockerish, but I like U2’s version better.  I tend to prefer the original version of songs unless the cover artist changes it drastically.  I like Johnny Cash’s version of “One” because of this.

I think Joe Cocker has taken U2’s basic arrangement, and sang it with his voice.  Shoot, I could do that, but I will spare the world from that monstrosity.

I liked Limp Bizkit’s cover of George Michael’s “Faith” because it was completely different from the original.  I love Sid Vicious’s cover of Sinatra’s “My Way” for the same reason.

I may prefer U2’s version because I got to meet them, but I’m hoping that that isn’t clouding my musical taste.

So I’m wandering around Amazon.com (metaphorically) and I stumbled upon The Tao of Pooh.

The reason why I mention this is because Amazon has a neat feature which shows you what items other customers have purchased after viewing the item you are looking at.  On this particular item, 31% bought it.  But 55% bought something called Sex and the Perfect Lover: Tao, Tantra, and the Kama Sutra, which means that over half of the people that looked at a book about eastern philosophy, applied that philosophy to sex.

I just thought that was interesting.

I subscribe to CNN’s Breaking News e-mail alerts.  I figured that since I have a BlackBerry, I can get important news e-mailed to me so I can be aware of it without having to check the web site.  For a little while it was good in that the news that was considered “breaking” was actually news that might be considered important.

That has changed.  I think that whoever is pulling the trigger on what is breaking news has a very low threshold, or, they are paid by the number of breaking news items they send out.  Below are just three “Breaking News” items that CNN saw fit to send me recently:

• Don Knotts died.
• Ben Rothlisburger to be issued summons for failing to wear a helmet and have a proper motorcycle license.
• Dan Rather reaches agreement with CBS News to leave the network after 44 years.

You’re joking, right?

Update: I threw up a page that keeps track of the ridiculous ones.  They’ve gotten a lot better.