Texas has introduced the world to fried Twinkies, fried pickles, fried Oreos, and the ultimate in fried cuisine, fried butter—to name a few—but they may have finally broken the “fry barrier” and are about to introduce to the world fried beer.

Mark Zable’s creation is a ravioli-shaped dough pocket that’s filled with beer and plunged into a deep fryer. It’s a little messy — the beer pours out on the first bite — but you can always sop it up with the dough.

Imagine what the world would be like if crafty people at the Texas State Fair pointed all that ingenuity to something more helpful to humanity—like why beer tastes crappy when drunk out of aluminum cans.

What would happen if, instead of spare change, you handed a person in need the means to shop for whatever they needed? What would they buy? Can you spare your credit card, sir?

In New York City, an advertising executive recently handed over her American Express Platinum Card to a homeless Manhattan man after he had asked her for change. The man, who had been without home after losing a job, used the card to buy $25 worth of deodorant, water and cigarettes. And then he returned the card.

Jim Rankin of The Toronto Star wanted to find out, so he handed out pre-paid cards of $50 and $75.  Most used it buy food and liquor.

Morrie Yohai, the inventor of Cheez Doodles, has died.

Although Mr. Yohai insisted on the “we” credit for the recipe, he did say that he came up with the product name. First marketed in the late 1950s, Cheez Doodles soon became so popular that by 1965, Old London Foods was bought by Borden, and Mr. Yohai became vice president of Borden’s snack food division, which among other products made Drake’s Cakes and Cracker Jack.

One of his duties, he said, was sitting around a table with other executives and choosing which tiny toys would be stuffed into Cracker Jack boxes.

A study looked at the portion size of 52 paintings of the last supper (painted between 1000 and 1700’s) and found they are getting bigger.  Professor Brian Wansink, who lead the research:

“We think that as art imitates life, these changes have been reflected in paintings of history’s most famous dinner.”

After more than 40 years, Heinz has updated the ketchup packet.  The new packet allows both squeezing and dipping, will cost a little bit more, and will hold three times as much ketchup.

No one seems to know if you can put them on the floor, stomp on them, and get them to shoot all over your friends.

Cosmonauts grow barley on board the International Space Station, so Sapporo used it to make beer.  It’s a very limited edition and won’t be available to the general public.  30 couples will be able to drink it via lottery.

The barley was grown as the result of an on-going crop growing project on board ISS, with other products including wheat, lettuce and peas. In the furute [sic], potatoes could also be grown in space.

However, Boris Morukov, a cosmonaut who spent 11 days in space on board the ISS, said: “I think we would try to grow potatoes as food, not for vodka production.”

Reader’s Digest brings us “30 Secrets Your Waiter Will Never Tell You”.

10. Oh, you needed more water so badly, you had to snap or tap or whistle? I’ll be right back … in ten minutes.

And from the I-wish-I-didn’t-know-that department:

28. If you’re worried about cleanliness, check out the bathroom. If the bathroom is gross, you can be sure the kitchen is much worse.

The Freedom Tower construction site will have its very own Subway shop.  It will be built inside a shipping container-like structure and fixed atop one of the cranes, rising with the building.  It will even include a bathroom.

PA spokesman Steve Coleman said having the concession near the top of the construction project would speed up the work.

“This will allow construction workers to stay in the tower throughout their shift rather than having to go up and down,” Coleman said.

The New York Times has a two part series on the 100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do (part two is here).

I thought a lot of them were just common sense, but I’m starting to learn that common sense isn’t that common.

5. Tables should be level without anyone asking. Fix it before guests are seated.

58. Do not bring judgment with the ketchup. Or mustard. Or hot sauce. Or whatever condiment is requested.

Scientists have discovered the oldest fossilized remains of a human ancestor.  It’s about a million years older than Lucy, it’s female, and is named “Ardi” (unfortunately not after a Beatles song).

All previously known hominids—members of our ancestral lineage—walked upright on two legs, like us. But Ardi’s feet, pelvis, legs, and hands suggest she was a biped on the ground but a quadruped when moving about in the trees.

They also theorize that bipedalism allowed the male to carry and bring food back to the female, which was a move away from brute strength towards monogamy.

A cafeteria is tired of all the rude comments made about “Spotted Dick”, so they’re renaming the pudding. It will now be known as “Spotted Richard”.

Perky Jerky is caffeinated beef jerky.  Great idea.  Great name.

Blue M&M’s might be good for you

The dye used in M&M’s has been found to be helpful to patients suffering from spinal injuries.

CNN:

Researchers at the University of Rochester Medical Center found that when they injected the compound Brilliant Blue G (BBG) into rats suffering spinal cord injuries, the rodents were able to walk again, albeit with a limp.

The only side effect was that the treated mice temporarily turned blue.

I was never happy with blue M&M’s since that color really can’t be found in nature, but this news makes it OK to tolerate them.  Any ongoing studies on the green ones?

Happy National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day

Guess what I’ll be having for lunch?  Yup, roast beef and provolone.

Microwave maniac

A look at what happens when you microwave foam, glue, cake, eggs, crayons, etc.

Proof that some people have too much free time.

This is why you’re fat

A blog dedicated to deliciously gross food.

The Mega Double Stuff Oreo just takes all the Oreo deliciousness out of my head, and I think I threw up a little in my mouth at the Bacon Donut.

You can drive the Wienermobile!

Oscar Meyer is taking applications to drive the giant hot dog on wheels.  I think it’d be fun, but I’d probably get tired of eating hot dogs about three days in.

Bacon and cheese roll

I think my theory that “everything’s better with bacon” was proven wrong.

I may have had a minor coronary just looking at the pictures.

Bloody Mary turns 75

The drink was supposedly born in NYC 75 years ago today.  Like the Caesar salad, it’s origins are disputed.  Like the Caesar salad, I don’t care where it came from, I’m just glad it’s around.

Review of vegetarian bacon

Why?

I mean, holy crap, look at that ingredient list. Some mad scientists in New Jersey have figured out how to synthesize a facsimile of the smell and flavor of bacon using “natural” and “artificial” flavors. It brings to mind the line by Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park: “Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.”

TiVo adds Domino’s pizza to its menu

You can now order a pizza by using your TiVo remote without moving from your couch.  Whoever came up with this is in the wrong field.  Imagine what they could do if they were fighting cancer.

Hormel can’t make Spam fast enough

Due to the economic downturn, Spam is flying off the shelves.

I think the most disturbing sentence of the article was when a former Spam recipe contest judge recalled:

“The best thing was Spam brownies,” he said, with more or less a straight face.