| Quip | Date | Note |
|---|
| Cheer up, the worst is yet to come. | May 18th 2012 | |
| The road to success is always under construction | May 18th 2012 | |
| I fish, therefore I lie. | May 18th 2012 | |
| iPaige movies are in 8D! | May 15th 2012 | |
| There’s no “we” in iPaige | May 15th 2012 | |
| I have a new, revolutionary invention: the iPaige | May 14th 2012 | |
| The iPaige plays 45′s + 78′s (in stereo) | May 14th 2012 | |
| Don’t confuse me with facts; my mind’s already made up. | May 11th 2012 | |
| It’s never too late to mutate. | May 11th 2012 | |
| This would be really funny if it weren’t happening to me. | May 9th 2012 | |
| The only joy in the world is to begin. | May 9th 2012 | |
| They told me I had type-A blood, but that was a typo | May 8th 2012 | |
| The shortest answer is doing. | May 8th 2012 | |
| Man dreads fame as a pig dreads fat. | May 8th 2012 | |
| Know a good chemistry joke? Let me zinc about it. | May 7th 2012 | |
| When chemists die, they barium. | May 7th 2012 | |
| Broken pencils are pointless. | May 7th 2012 | |
| I’d rather play Twister with myself. | May 4th 2012 | |
| England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. | May 4th 2012 | |
| Never trust a skinny chef. | May 4th 2012 | |
| I used to be a banker, but this I lost interest. | May 2nd 2012 | |
| Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes. | May 2nd 2012 | |
| I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. | May 2nd 2012 | |
| I tried to catch some fog, but I mist. | May 1st 2012 | |
| Venison for dinner again? Oh deer! | May 1st 2012 | |
| Velcro: What a rip off! | May 1st 2012 | |
| Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. | Apr 30th 2012 | |
| I ♥ working nights and weekends | Apr 30th 2012 | |
| WARNING: He’s subject to spontaneous outburst of song. | Apr 30th 2012 | |
| I’m not getting old, I’m getting awesome! | Apr 25th 2012 | |
| I put ketchup on my ketchup. | Apr 25th 2012 | |
| I’m up and out of bed. What more do you want? | Apr 23rd 2012 | |
| I’d rather be fighting zombies. | Apr 23rd 2012 | |
| Sorry for being myself! | Apr 23rd 2012 | |
| Circle of trust | Apr 20th 2012 | [pic] |
| Don’t interrupt the conversation I’m having with myself. | Apr 20th 2012 | |
| I’m gonna invent a vaccine for stupid. | Apr 20th 2012 | |
| Can we have class outside today? | Apr 18th 2012 | |
| Dinosaurs | Apr 18th 2012 | |
| If you don’t like my driving, stay off the sidewalk. | Apr 18th 2012 | |
| Sorry for shouting yesterday | Apr 17th 2012 | |
| Sorry for shouting last segment | Apr 17th 2012 | |
| I’m just a sorry person. | Apr 17th 2012 | |
| Dear Algebra | Apr 16th 2012 | |
| You read my board. | Apr 16th 2012 | |
| The glass is always full | Apr 16th 2012 | Drawing of glass showing half air, half water. |
| Restraint is good in moderation | Apr 13th 2012 | |
| Snowmen fall from the sky unassembled. | Apr 13th 2012 | |
| Sure, let me drop everything and work on your problem! | Apr 11th 2012 | |
| I used to respect my elders. Now I have none to respect. | Apr 11th 2012 | |
If you find anything on here useful or interesting, or you just feel sorry for me, you can buy me a beer via PayPal.
