| Quip |
Date |
Note |
| Why are they called “stands” when they’re made for sitting? |
Feb 7th 2012 |
|
| Everything can be filed under “miscellaneous” |
Feb 7th 2012 |
|
| What concert costs 45 cents? |
Feb 7th 2012 |
|
| I’m available for 4 difficult payments of: $19.99 |
Feb 6th 2012 |
|
| Someone said I sound like an owl. |
Feb 6th 2012 |
|
| I went from liking Air Supply to needing air supply. |
Feb 6th 2012 |
|
| Coming up |
Feb 3rd 2012 |
|
| 3 ripe avacodos |
Feb 3rd 2012 |
|
| salt + pepper to taste |
Feb 3rd 2012 |
|
| Either you agree with me, or you’re wrong. |
Feb 1st 2012 |
|
| Forgive Bomani, I was young and stupid once too. |
Feb 1st 2012 |
Bomani = Bomani Jones, another panelist on the show. |
| I’d rather be alone than with these people. |
Feb 1st 2012 |
|
| I got rid of my headache |
Jan 31st 2012 |
[pic] |
| I’m your wing, man |
Jan 31st 2012 |
[pic] |
| Pong is still the best game. |
Jan 31st 2012 |
[pic] |
| I’ve got your back |
Jan 30th 2012 |
[pic] |
| The only thing we have to fear is fear itself…and mutes! |
Jan 30th 2012 |
|
| Cool story bro; tell it again. |
Jan 30th 2012 |
|
| You’re pointless. |
Jan 27th 2012 |
A triangle talking to a circle. [pic] |
| Don’t be square! |
Jan 27th 2012 |
A circle talking to a square. [pic] |
| Bob Ryan and I are reprising our roles on The Muppets. |
Jan 25th 2012 |
|
| Zombies eat brains! |
Jan 25th 2012 |
|
| All sports are fantasy sports with this body. |
Jan 25th 2012 |
|
| I’m just the boy that tweeted “wolf” |
Jan 24th 2012 |
|
| Karaoke is a window to the soul. Soul, or funk, or rock. |
Jan 24th 2012 |
|
| Give me Face Time, or give me cheeseburgers. |
Jan 24th 2012 |
|
| This is my brain |
Jan 23rd 2012 |
|
| Beggers can’t be choosers, but they can win this show! |
Jan 23rd 2012 |
|
| If you don’t believe me, I made it up. |
Jan 23rd 2012 |
|
| I like Vanna better |
Jan 18th 2012 |
Tony opened the show by touching the monitors, like Vanna does on "Wheel of Fortune". |
| Clean as a whistle? |
Jan 18th 2012 |
|
| Stay Tuned |
Jan 17th 2012 |
|
| |
Jan 17th 2012 |
The blackboard was invisible. |
| Not propaganda |
Jan 13th 2012 |
|
| Keep left |
Jan 13th 2012 |
Arrow pointing to the right. |
| Stop here on mute |
Jan 13th 2012 |
Arrow pointing at Woody. |
| I just finished returning all my Christmas gifts. |
Jan 11th 2012 |
|
| No more gift cards. Just send cash! |
Jan 11th 2012 |
|
| New all-time scoring leader |
Jan 10th 2012 |
|
| Has scored more than any other ATH panelist |
Jan 10th 2012 |
Arrow pointing at Woody.
Referencing his ATH scoring record from yesterday (also, double entendre?). |
| Tremendous |
Jan 9th 2012 |
|
| Stay tuned for my scoring record! |
Jan 9th 2012 |
He had 55 points at the time. |
| I’m still going to do it! BELIEVE!!! |
Jan 9th 2012 |
Started the segment at 64, one shy of the record. Ended with 71, the new record. |
| Vegas says I have a 1% chance to win today. |
Jan 6th 2012 |
|
| I never liked a man I didn’t meet. |
Jan 6th 2012 |
|
| I can walk the walk and chalk the chalk. |
Jan 6th 2012 |
|
| I deserve to be in the spotlight this year. |
Jan 4th 2012 |
|
| I’m not famous, I’m just in the spotlight more than him |
Jan 4th 2012 |
Arrow pointing at Woody. |
| Duct tape fixes everything! |
Jan 3rd 2012 |
Duct tape was holding the chalkboard up. It fell, "accidentally", in the middle of the segment. [pic] |
| Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits. |
Jan 3rd 2012 |
|
