About the same as my 401(k).

Wait, they get bonuses?  Why do they get bonuses if they didn’t make any money?

NEW RULE: If you work in finance and you don’t make a profit, you don’t get a bonus.  In fact, you should have your salary cut by the same percentage as you lost for your clients.

January 28, 2009

Michael Jackson’s Thriller album is being developed into a musical.

Jackson’s 1982 “Thriller” album is the world’s biggest selling album and the theater production will recreate the tale of the 14-minute horror film spoof based on the title song. In the video, a young couple are on a date when the boy — played by Jackson in the video — becomes a werewolf.

Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

January 26, 2009

Artie Lange, King of the Dragons

January 24, 2009 at 10:00am • Zero comments

This is probably the weirdest dream I’ve had that I can remember.

It started off with me and a whole bunch of others living in a small 19th-century village.  Apparently, the village was constantly attacked by dragons, and the village elders needed someone to go and kill the dragons’ leader, Artie Lange.  I, being the tallest, strongest, and most handsome, was given the task.

For several days and nights, I subsisted on berries and leaves and was able to track down Artie in his secret lair…a supermarket.

The next day at noon, I ran into the supermarket, grabbed an ax (because they are always out in the open at supermarkets) and tried to kill him by chopping off his head.  There was a problem.  The ax never did any damage to him.  He just stood there laughing an evil laugh and eating a cupcake.

I had failed my mission.

It was at this point that I woke up and vowed not to remember any more dreams.

The preceding dream was brought to you by Maker’s Mark.

Related

Did Microsoft just kill Flight Simulator? Flight Simulator is Microsoft’s oldest, continuously updated product, but that may have changed due to their recent layoffs. They shut down the wholly-owned studio that makes FlightSim, but they didn’t go so far as to say they are ending the product’s life. Microsoft’s spokeswoman Kelda Rericha:

We are committed to the Flight Simulator franchise, which has proven to be a successful PC-based game for the last 27 years

I used to love FlightSim when I was younger, but don’t have the time to play it now that I have real responsibilities. I can’t imagine it’s a huge seller since most youngsters would find it quite boring compared to the video games available these days.

Did my disk just go up in value?

January 24, 2009

Apple’s “1984” Macintosh ad

January 22, 2009 at 12:00pm • Zero comments

25 years ago, Apple’s “1984” Macintosh ad was shown during the Super Bowl. It was shown only once, but was replayed constantly on the news and written about by newspapers for days afterward. Not only did it launch the Macintosh, it also launched the great Super Bowl commercial craze that is sometimes the best part of watching the game. Apple definitely got their money’s worth.

Jenna and Barbara Bush pen advice to the Obama daughters:

If you’re traveling with your parents over Halloween, don’t let it stop you from doing what you would normally do. Dress up in some imaginative, elaborate costume (if you are like us a pack of Juicy Fruit and a Vampiress) and trick-or-treat down the plane aisle.

When your dad throws out the first pitch for the Yankees, go to the game.

And the best advice (on their father):

Many people will think they know him, but they have no idea how he felt the day you were born, the pride he felt on your first day of school, or how much you both love being his daughters. So here is our most important piece of advice: remember who your dad really is.

January 21, 2009

The Big Picture gives us some amazing photos related to the inauguration of President Obama. The amount, and diversity, of people is amazing.

For the horologists out there, the watch he’s wearing in #36 is a Jorg Grey JGC6500, which was a gift from his Secret Service detail.

I wonder why Former President Bush chose to label the envelope he left for President Obama with a Post-It Note rather than just label the envelope (#48)?

January 21, 2009

A man tried to rob a bank, but waited on line with his mask on.

I’m guessing he doesn’t watch a lot of movies.

January 17, 2009

Here’s a microwave popcorn popper that’s a nice alternative to the bag-o-chemicals you normally use in the microwave. Love how the butter melts from the top.

January 14, 2009

Chia Pet Planting (2009)

January 14, 2009 at 4:00pm • Zero comments

Chia Garfield box

For the holidays, my mother got me a Chia Garfield as a gift. In early January 2009, I “planted” it. Just like the last time I planted a Chia Pet, I’m going to document this one.

Continue reading ‘Chia Pet Planting (2009)’ . . .