Sigh.
Update: Time Warner Cable just called to tell me about the benefits of home phone service (the only reason I answered the phone was because I thought they were calling about my issue). I interrupted the woman from her script to let her know that my internet service through them was quite bad at the moment and that the only reason we were able to talk on the phone is because I don’t have phone service through them. She was quite flustered at that. I also tested my internet connection while she was on the phone, and it’s even worse.
Update: Yay!