Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Iv’e decided to opt out of my contract. I am officially on the market.
— Chalkboard

Note: [sic] [pic]

“Free agent” is an oxymoron
A man tried to sell me a coffin the other day, but that’s the last thing I need
Friday, June 26, 2015
Tony, if we were NBA draft prospects, which panelist would draw the most boos?

Note: Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH.

My job is secure. Who else would want to hang over his shoulders for 12 years?

Note: Arrow pointing at Woody.

Birthdays are cool, but 69 of them isn’t good for you
Monday, June 22, 2015
If I had three chances every showdown, I’d be to 500 wins by now. #U.S.OPEN
The affect of bad grammar can effect my mood
I’ve got a good knock-knock joke, but you have to start.
Friday, June 19, 2015

I’ve always wanted to play golf like Tiger. Now I can.
— Chalkboard

Where do I submit my application for Cavs head coach?
— Chalkboard

Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Every pizza is a personal pizza if you believe in yourself
Calligraphy is an idea that looked good on paper
Dentists clean unhealthy teeth so I don’t trust a toothpaste that 4 out of 5 of them recommend
Thursday, June 11, 2015
I love my body parts, but not my mind parts
They say third time’s a charm, unless you’re going for 500 wins
Prepositions are not words to end a sentence with
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
Reali and zombies love my brain

Note: Reali = Tony Reali, the host of ATH

The only thing less funny than self-deprecating humor is me
The thing about being a nurse is, you must have patience