My fitness band congratulated me on hitting my steps goal. It looks great on the cat.
I wonder if turtles think frogs are homeless?
There is really no manly way to carry balloons
I suppose you could call me an avid indoorsman
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think “Oh man! It’s the cops”?
If you want to join my Scrabble club, I could put in a good word for you
When you have the chance to be a bigger person, take it because cake is delicious
Frank is not a Facebook status; you don’t have to like him
Note: Frank = Frank Isola, another panelist on the show
Nothing affects average margin of victory like the mute button
We are all time traveler’s moving at exactly 60 minutes per hour
I’m actually not old; I’m 25 plus shipping and handling
“Free agent” is an oxymoron
A man tried to sell me a coffin the other day, but that’s the last thing I need
Tony, if we were NBA draft prospects, which panelist would draw the most boos?
Note: Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH.
My job is secure. Who else would want to hang over his shoulders for 12 years?
Note: Arrow pointing at Woody.
Birthdays are cool, but 69 of them isn’t good for you