“Free agent” is an oxymoron
A man tried to sell me a coffin the other day, but that’s the last thing I need
Tony, if we were NBA draft prospects, which panelist would draw the most boos?
Note: Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH.
My job is secure. Who else would want to hang over his shoulders for 12 years?
Note: Arrow pointing at Woody.
Birthdays are cool, but 69 of them isn’t good for you
If I had three chances every showdown, I’d be to 500 wins by now. #U.S.OPEN
The affect of bad grammar can effect my mood
I’ve got a good knock-knock joke, but you have to start.
Every pizza is a personal pizza if you believe in yourself
Calligraphy is an idea that looked good on paper
Dentists clean unhealthy teeth so I don’t trust a toothpaste that 4 out of 5 of them recommend
I love my body parts, but not my mind parts
They say third time’s a charm, unless you’re going for 500 wins
Prepositions are not words to end a sentence with
Reali and zombies love my brain
Note: Reali = Tony Reali, the host of ATH
The only thing less funny than self-deprecating humor is me
The thing about being a nurse is, you must have patience