Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Despite my stardom, my career appearing on games shows is in jeopardy
Those who build roofs are so inclined
My shoes are sole mates
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Lottery: A tax on people that are bad at math
Indecision is they key to flexibility

Note: sic on 'they' [pic]

Friday, May 15, 2015

All true wisdom is found on me
— Chalkboard

Cole’s Law:
Thinly sliced cabbage

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4’s”?
Thursday, May 14, 2015

ATM Disclaimer
Sign necessary forms or get muted

I wonder where forest rangers go to escape it all?
Friday, May 8, 2015
Make yourself indispensable at work by hiding everything
Your senses are heightened when you do things you’re not supposed to while at work
I check none of the boxes

[pic]

Thursday, May 7, 2015
If there was a scandal about a fence, would they call it gate-gate?
If I were the only panelist I still couldn’t get to 500 wins
Monday, May 4, 2015
Money can’t buy happiness, but you can find it faster in a convertable
One day you’re the best thing since sliced bread, the next, you’re toast
I’d call my fashion style “clothes that still fit”
Friday, May 1, 2015
When all is said and done there is always someone who is still talking
I admit I am condescending. I always talk down to people