Tuesday, January 27, 2015
In AZ 3 days made a rash decision, bought Calamine lotion
Now we know what it means when Tom Brady airs one out
Last night I hugged a cactus
Thursday, January 22, 2015

Job Application
In case of emergency contact: doctor

A foiled master plan


Monday, January 19, 2015
Man, what a deflating loss for the Colts!


— Ball deflator
— Greater Glendale area
— Must be available February 1, 2015
Thursday, January 15, 2015
Pillow fight champion featherweight division
My pet chameleon


Monday, January 12, 2015

Monday Special
Free shrugs for Frank Isola

Note: Frank Isola is another panelist on the show

What do you get when you cross Oregon & Ohio State?
A duckeye or a buckduck

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
Tuesday, January 6, 2015

“I shrunk because I was in a pool of grease.”
— Bacon

For Pete’s sake, who’s Pete Sake?
Plateau’s. The highest form of flattery.
Monday, January 5, 2015

My New Year’s resolution:
500 wins. It starts today

Something between us smells




Wednesday, December 24, 2014
I’m the first No-L
I’m going to get Blitzen for the holidays