Thursday, April 23, 2015
Do I have a police record? No, but I own two of their albums on cassette.
Some questions just answer themselves: sit-ups or pizza?
To make a long story short, just quit right in the middle.
Monday, April 20, 2015

Let me be frank with you
Perhaps not

Life is short. I’m not too long for it
Hang on Tony. Let me over think this.

Note: Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH

Friday, April 17, 2015
A book fell on my head this morning. I have only myshelf to blame.
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
I got caught stealing a calendar and got twelve months
Thursday, April 16, 2015
They should make a Minecraft movie; it would be a blockbuster
Fishermen are reel men
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
I may not have finished first in the bracket challenge, but I did beat Frank

Note: Frank = Frank Isola, another panelist on the show

Spring is here! I’m so exited I wet my plants

Note: (more like he's so excited he left out a 'c', amirite?) [pic]

Wednesday, April 1, 2015
I’m going ahead to the past

DANGER
1.21 jiggawatts

Sorry I’m late I rode my hoverboard today
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Frank, I think we are at that stage as friends where we can insult each other

Note: Frank = Frank Isola, another panelist on the show

Fanny’s Rest Stop
Eat here and get gas

Can February March? No, but April May
Thursday, March 26, 2015
Mr. 2,200