Friday, December 19, 2014

I learned how to do chalkboard stands



Thursday, December 18, 2014
Did you hear about the Italian chef who pasta way?
Only 372 shopping days until Christmas 2015

What’s Forrest Gump’s password?

Wednesday, December 10, 2014
I don’t like wearing pants; that’s why I like this job
When life knocks me down, I usually lie there and take naps



Tuesday, December 9, 2014

‮This is my selfie pose


Well potassium to you too

Thursday, December 4, 2014
Sweet dreams are made of cheese. Who am I to dis a brie?
If you are cold, stand in a corner. They are usually 90°

Beware of Bear
Don’t feed Teddy.
He is stuffed.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014
I’d tell you a chemistry joke but all the good ones argon
This must be a sign
You hang around, I’ll go on ahead


Wednesday, November 26, 2014
I’m not hungry, I’m stuffed


I dig, you dig, he dig, she dig, they dig…it’s not a great poem, but it’s very deep
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Like a fish, it would be wise for me to keep my mouth shut.
The best nicknames are the ones people don’t know they have