Feb 21st 2012
 
Segment 1

Never forget

[pic]

 
Segment 2

Medicine is the best medicine
Feb 10th 2012
 
Segment 1

Now that I know all the answers, nobody ask me any questions.
 
Segment 2

An unemployed court jester is nobody’s fool.
Feb 8th 2012
 
Segment 1

400 is a Harshad Number

Note: Woody has been trying to win his 400th show for a while now, and yes, 400 is a Harshad Number.

 
Segment 2

400 is the square of 20.

Note: Woody has been trying to win his 400th show for a while now.

 
Segment 3

A circle is divided into 400 grads.

Note: Woody has been trying to win his 400th show for a while now.

Feb 7th 2012
 
Segment 1

Why are they called “stands” when they’re made for sitting?
 
Segment 2

Everything can be filed under “miscellaneous”
 
Segment

What concert costs 45 cents?
50 Cent feat. Nickelback.

Feb 6th 2012
 
Segment 1

I’m available for 4 difficult payments of: $19.99
 
Segment

Someone said I sound like an owl.
(wait for it)
Who?

 
Segment 3

I went from liking Air Supply to needing air supply.
Feb 3rd 2012
 
Segment

Coming up:
by popular demand, Woody’s world famous superbowl guac. (get a pen)

 
Segment 2

3 ripe avacodos [sic]
1 tbs lemon juice
1/2 small sweet onion
1 ripe roma tomato
2 serrano peppers
chopped cilantro
(more to come – I hope)

 
Segment 3

salt + pepper to taste
1-2 jiggers tequila “top shelf”
1 tbs mexican hot sauce
secret ingredient:
1 tbs mayo (don’t tell)

Feb 1st 2012
 
Segment 1

Either you agree with me, or you’re wrong.
 
Segment 2

Forgive Bomani, I was young and stupid once too.

Note: Bomani = Bomani Jones, another panelist on the show.

 
Segment 3

I’d rather be alone than with these people.
Jan 31st 2012
 
Segment 1

I got rid of my headache

[pic]

 
Segment 2

I’m your wing, man

[pic]

 
Segment 3

Pong is still the best game.

[pic]

Jan 30th 2012
 
Segment 1

I’ve got your back

[pic]

 
Segment 2

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself…and mutes!
 
Segment 3

Cool story bro; tell it again.
Jan 27th 2012
 
Segment 1

You’re pointless.

Note: A triangle talking to a circle. [pic]

 
Segment 2

Don’t be square!

Note: A circle talking to a square. [pic]

Jan 25th 2012
 
Segment 1

Bob Ryan and I are reprising our roles on The Muppets.
(Statler + Waldorf)

 
Segment 2

Zombies eat brains!
(Tony, you’re safe)

 
Segment 3

All sports are fantasy sports with this body.
NewerOlder1234Last »