Wednesday, December 10, 2014
I don’t like wearing pants; that’s why I like this job
When life knocks me down, I usually lie there and take naps



Tuesday, December 9, 2014

‮This is my selfie pose


Well potassium to you too

Thursday, December 4, 2014
Sweet dreams are made of cheese. Who am I to dis a brie?
If you are cold, stand in a corner. They are usually 90°

Beware of Bear
Don’t feed Teddy.
He is stuffed.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014
I’d tell you a chemistry joke but all the good ones argon
This must be a sign
You hang around, I’ll go on ahead


Wednesday, November 26, 2014
I’m not hungry, I’m stuffed


I dig, you dig, he dig, she dig, they dig…it’s not a great poem, but it’s very deep
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Like a fish, it would be wise for me to keep my mouth shut.
The best nicknames are the ones people don’t know they have
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and stare at it for hours.
Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Kate, just between you and me, I like Frank the least of the NY panelists.
— Chalkboard

Note: Kate = Kate Fagan, another NY panelist on the show. Frank = Frank Isola, another NY panelist on the show.

I try not to spend too much time online, but wi‑fight it?

Monday, November 17, 2014
When Peter Pan punches, they neverland
Good news! The fifth dentist caved and now they are all recommending Trident