Thursday, April 28, 2016

How to have a beach body:

1. Have a body
2. Go to the beach

The list of my best puns of 2016:
Tuesday, April 26, 2016

I chose the road less traveled.
Now where am I?

Live everyday like it’s taco Tuesday
Friday, April 22, 2016
Prince was definitely one among men
In honor of Earth Day, I moved all of my emails to the “recycle” folder
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
I’m trying to see how many words I can fit on the chalkboard
I’m trying to see how many words I can fit on the chalkboard
I’m trying to see how many words I can fit on the chalkboard
I’m trying to see how many words I can fit on the chalkboard
I’m trying to see how many words I can fit on the chalkboard
I’m trying to see how many words I can fit on the chalkboard
I’m trying to see how many words I can fit on the chalkboard
I’m trying to see how many words I can fit on the chalkboard
I’m trying to see how many words I can fit on the chalkboard
I’m trying to see how many words I can fit on the chalkboard
I’m trying to see how many words I can fit on the chalkboard
I’m trying to see how many words I can fit on the chalkboard
I’m trying to see how many words I can fit on the chalkboard
I’m trying to see how many words I can fit on the chalkboard
I’m trying to see how many words I can fit on the chalkboard
I’m trying to see how many words I can fit on the chalkboard

[pic]

If at first you don’t succeed, hit a double
Monday, April 18, 2016
Admit it, your life would be boring without me
You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. For example, toilet paper.
Thursday, April 14, 2016
If you don’t have something nice to say, say it sarcastically

Isola + Cowlishaw
=
Frank n’ Beans

Wednesday, April 13, 2016
People who are awesome:

Note: Pie graph showing 100% with the legend "Me" [pic]

I dream that one day a chicken can cross the road without its motives being questioned
Tuesday, April 5, 2016
Every family has one weird relative. If you can’t name who it is, then it’s probably you.
I bought the worst thesaurus, not only is it terrible, but it’s also terrible
Tuesday, March 29, 2016
Auto-correct can go straight to he’ll
If he could chuck wood, Woody do it?
Friday, March 25, 2016
Alligators can grow up to 15 feet, but most have just four
I always put my shoes on before my pants to remind myself that life is not easy