Monday, March 23, 2015
Today my name is backboard
The musician broke into song because he couldn’t find the key
I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
I ate my Lucky Charms marshmellows this morning

Note: [sic]

St. Patrick’s Day Poll

Am I wearing underwear beneath my kilt? Y☐ N☐

When is an Irish potato not Irish? When it’s a french fry
Monday, March 16, 2015
The real bracket challenge: hanging my TV wall mount
My bracket is already busted
Thursday, March 12, 2015
My best advice is to not listen to advice, even this advice
If you think nothing is impossible try slamming a revolving door

Diet Rule #1
If nobody sees me eat it, it doesn’t contain calories

Tuesday, March 10, 2015
Should the Colts have signed Al Gore instead of Frank Gore?

Hey App Store can you make a fire?
No Matches

Potatoes are the prettiest vegetables; all eyes are on them
Thursday, March 5, 2015
Very few things blow my mind, unless it’s windy outside
Being a couch potato is risky; someone may get hungry and eat you
My computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing
Monday, March 2, 2015

Today’s Motto
It’s not important to win. It’s only important that Frank loses

Note: Frank = Frank Isola, another panelist on the show.

Alarm Clocks for Sale
Buy one. You will sleep soundly

The best part about writing a book is the book parties