Monday, April 7, 2014
I’m wearing skinny jeans. Do they make me look fat?
Loafers: My shoe style and my lifestyle

Welcome
Please remove your shoes. Take mine on the way out

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Note to self:
Insult Frank as much as possible

Note: Frank = Frank Isola, another panelist on the show.

Who is better looking? Me or Frank?

—Chalkboard

Tuesday, April 1, 2014
“Kiss my grits”
The Woody Project
“I pity the fool”
Friday, March 28, 2014
I feel like I’m being watched
It’s going to be a rough day

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I hear the sound of the mute button in my sleep
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
I can’t even be trusted to type what I mean
Dogs have owners, cats have staff
I “overuse” air quotes

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Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Beat Woody’s final 4! Win a chalkboard. Go to [woodypaige.com]

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My bracket:

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I do what I want, when I want…as long as Mom says it’s OK
Friday, March 14, 2014
I always thought air was free, then I bought a bag of chips.
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Free agent pricetags