Did you hear about the Italian chef who pasta way?
Only 372 shopping days until Christmas 2015
I don’t like wearing pants; that’s why I like this job
When life knocks me down, I usually lie there and take naps
Sweet dreams are made of cheese. Who am I to dis a brie?
If you are cold, stand in a corner. They are usually 90°
I’d tell you a chemistry joke but all the good ones argon
You hang around, I’ll go on ahead
I’m not hungry, I’m stuffed
I dig, you dig, he dig, she dig, they dig…it’s not a great poem, but it’s very deep
Like a fish, it would be wise for me to keep my mouth shut.
The best nicknames are the ones people don’t know they have