From The Onion:
“No matter how bad things were upon waking up, the very moment our trial subjects pulled off the covers and stepped out of bed, things spiraled even further downward for them in roughly 92 percent of all cases,” said lead researcher Alison Chaudhary, who added that her research team observed no instances in which rising from one’s bed and beginning to go about one’s day improved things for any of the test participants.
Once again, The Onion nails it.
Whitney Filloon at Eater dives into the world of cereal box collectors.
The cereal box’s innately disposable nature seems to be one of the things that attracts collectors — unlike, say, baseball cards, they were never intended to be saved. (They’re also colorful and easy to display, which certainly doesn’t hurt.) After all, people who purchase Froot Loops do so strictly in pursuit of the sugary little Os inside; as soon as those are gone, the packaging is discarded and carted off to a landfill (or, with any luck, a recycling facility).
Never was a fan of Froot Loops…but I can see the nostalgic appeal of the boxes.
Walt Hickey at FiveThirtyEight takes a look at actors careers after winning an Oscar:
It might be worthwhile to disregard recent Oscar winners who do very well or very poorly here, because of the small sample size. But at the top of these lists are some very busy people: Nicole Kidman, Susan Sarandon, Helen Mirren and Forest Whitaker have all worked a lot. Nicolas Cage, who has become a punchline for his willingness to sign on to dumb projects, naturally slays. And if we learned anything from “The Intern” and “Dirty Grandpa,” it’s that Robert De Niro needs money.
This shows how much of an outlier Daniel Day-Lewis is in so many ways.
The Metropolitan Museum of Art is getting a new logo.
In its logo, the Met is now THE MET, the two short words printed in scarlet letters, stacked and squashed together. The whole ensemble looks like a red double-decker bus that has stopped short, shoving the passengers into each other’s backs. Worse, the entire top half of the new logo consists of the word the.
Looks like someone’s been smoking crack.
Amy Collier at The New Yorker brings us the definitive guide to cooties:
The spread of cooties is caused by physical contact between males and females of the human species. The infected party first becomes aware of contraction when the infecting party tells him or her, “Now you have girl cooties!” or “Now you have boy cooties!” causing synthesis in the cytoplasm, after which the viral DNA migrates to the nucleus. Upon discovery of the illness, it is common for the diseased to scream and run away. Limited research has been conducted on same-sex passing of cooties, and advocacy groups are calling for more studies in this area.
This is one of the most important medical understandings…right up there with Louis Pasteur and Jonas Salk.
The Times answers the import question, “What causes floaters in the eye?”
I like to watch them while riding the subway…I wonder what my fellow riders think I’m doing as my eyes dart back and forth?
Monte Reel at Bloomberg brings us the details on American Pharoah’s stud life:
The deed itself, here in the hills of Kentucky horse country, is governed by strict rules. Section V, paragraph D of The American Stud Book Principal Rules and Requirements is clear: “Any foal resulting from or produced by the processes of Artificial Insemination, Embryo Transfer or Transplant, Cloning or any other form of genetic manipulation not herein specified, shall not be eligible for registration.” No shortcuts, no gimmicks. All thoroughbreds must be the product of live, all-natural, horse-on-horse action.
Fascinating stuff. I love the little kicking boots.
This year’s Grammy awards will have a camera in the base of the “trophy” given to winners.
Evan Greene, CMO of the Recording Academy, says that the tagline for this year’s awards, “Witness Greatness,” inspired the organization to try and come up with a dramatic new way to make viewers feel like they’re part of the action. “As we started thinking about the incredible moments, the never-before-seen and unexpected moments that take place, we asked, ‘How can we provide fans access and a point of view they’ve never before experienced?” he explains. “That’s how the idea hatched.”
This is going to be so creepy.
In 2014 I watched over 200 movies, coming close to doubling my yearly average. I blamed that on the fact that there wasn’t much to watch on TV. In 2015, I watched 112 movies, which is one off from the yearly average. I attribute the sudden decline from the prior year to the fact that I did, in fact, watch a lot more television, especially shows that had been recommended to me after having been on for a few seasons, like Vikings, Death in Paradise, Shetland, DCI Banks, etc., and watching all of the seasons of The X-Files in anticipation of the 10th season. Additionally, I did not commit myself to watching all of the movies in a series like Jame Bond or Aliens/Predators, etc. (I say that as I’m just finishing up watching all of the Harry Potter movies).
I think the standout new movie from 2015 was Ex Machina.
Olga Khazan at The Atlantic gets to the bottom of whether non-sugary sparkling water are bad for you:
“For an average, healthy person, carbonated, sugar-free beverages are not going to be a main cavity-causing factor,” he said. “If you are at all concerned, you can always dilute the carbonated water with regular water, or even just swish with regular water after.”
So basically, everything but plain water is bad for you somehow.
