My old apartment had an old style peephole which allowed me an undistorted view through my door. Combine that with the fact that I had an end apartment which had a view of the entire hallway of my floor, and the voyeur in me couldn’t help but take a peek at my neighbors whenever I heard them in the hallway.

After noticing that my Coolpix 990 fit perfectly over the peephole and could take pictures silently, I decided to try to take a photo whenever I heard something going on in the hallway.

The following twelve photos were taken between late 2001 and early 2003.

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Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy marshmallows, which are kinda the same thing

— Anonymous

Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours

— Yogi Berra

True friends stab you in the front.

— Oscar Wilde

So-called “global warming” is just a secret ploy by wacko tree-huggers to make America energy independent, clean our air and water, improve the fuel efficiency of our vehicles, kick-start 21st-century industries, and make our cities safer and more livable. Don’t let them get away with it!

— Chip Giller

If you don’t read the newspaper, you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed.

— Mark Twain

One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating.

— Luciano Pavarotti

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not “Eureka” but “That’s funny…”

— Isaac Asimov

In mid-January, the Wall Street Journal analyzed the actual amount of play time of the average football game. They added up the amount of time the ball was actually alive and in play in four different games, and it averaged out to about 11 minutes. They concluded that the average game broadcast on TV shows 17 minutes of replays and 67 minutes of players standing around. With the biggest game of the year coming up, I decided to do my own analysis of the actual play time.

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Reading the ramblings of Sleep Talkin’ Man remind me that, while I don’t talk in my sleep (that I know of), I sometimes say and do things in that weird, semi-conscious state between sleep and wide awake consciousness. Things that are strange, and strangely related to the context of the waking environment. Things that I don’t often mean.

For example, I was once awakened by a ringing telephone on my nightstand at 4:30 a.m. In my haze, I went all Maxwell Smart and tried to answer a shoe which was not far from my bed. I remember trying to hit the answer button on the bottom of my shoe, holding it up to my ear to talk, and being perplexed as to why it was still ringing. It took about 30 seconds before I realized what I was doing, but by then it was too late to answer the real phone.

Another time, I incorporated my dog’s nails clicking on a tile floor nearby into my dream as rain hitting the window. I shot up out of bed, and tried to close the window to prevent the rain from coming in.

And it can be worse when there’s someone else there.

I have a standard spiel where I tell overnight guests that they should just ignore anything and everything, good or bad, that comes out of my mouth for the first five minutes after I wake up, especially if I’m awoken suddenly by an alarm clock, an inadvertent kick, etc.

Tracy did not heed my advice.

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Quote: Smart girls don’t need to tell you they’re smart. They just do smart shit.

— Russel Peters

Of the Seven Dwarfs, the only one who shaved was Dopey. That should tell us something about the wisdom of shaving.

— Tom Robbins

Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.

— Abraham Lincoln

According to Newsday’s Neil Best, the Tiger Woods story has graced the cover of the New York Post for 20 consecutive days. That’s one more than the old record held by 9/11.

To commemorate this historic event, I’ve compiled the 20 consecutive covers below. Enjoy.

NY Post covers

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